Requiem

I told myself I wasn't going to write this one. Because when these things happen, everybody's talking and needing to process. The last thing they need is to be overloaded with more words. (They really just need yoghurt, I'm telling you.)

But after two hours have passed and this nagging feeling wouldn't go away, I'm finally sitting down.

Most folks may not know, but I'm very protective of my baby sister. I know she's just turned 18, so what? She's still my baby sister.

When the news came, my mind flashed straight back five years ago, when I was the one losing a friend. The days at the hospital, the morning the call came through, the memorial services, and all the nights after that.

But what struck me tonight wasn't so much the memories from that chapter. It was the realisation that when death hits you in the face like that, it doesn't simply leave you with that dreaded feeling of loss and emptiness.

No, it also takes your innocence away.

Suddenly the reality sinks in that it isn't only the old people that die.
Suddenly it sinks in that it isn't only the bad people that suffer.
Suddenly it sinks in that someone so young, so full of life, with unfulfilled dreams to help change the world can be taken away just like that.

Tonight, I got angry.
No, I wasn't just angry that a twenty-year-old college kid's life just ended like that.
Death happens.
Having to say goodbye is terrible, but death happens.

Tonight, I got angry that my baby sister--and her friends--have to go through that.
That their innocence just got taken away, just like that.

And then I remembered.
Anger is a part of grief.
If there are three things I can say to a close-knit community like AU going through this season of grief, it would be these:

Give each other grace. Give each other grace to be angry, grace to be silent, grace to be in denial, grace to simply cry.
Don't try to answer questions, just hold each other.
And most importantly, hold each other. Physically, spiritually, emotionally. Hold on.

Xavier, I don't know you.
But they all have kind things to say about you.
That you lit up every room you entered.
That you never failed to make them smile.
Tonight, I speak love to you and yours.
I pray Creator God hold those who love you dear tonight.

Much love to those who are hurting tonight.

""Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God." - Isaiah 40:1