Morning Will Come...

She lay in the dark, her eyes shut.
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
After the sleep, morning will come.
And the ghosts of yesterday will no longer haunt.

But instead, she sees her face.
And it all comes back.
2 am nights of screaming because all other words fail.
A pain that seemed to penetrate through her guts.
Life so brief, kinship so deep.
And the deep darkness that settled because she was no more.
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
After the sleep, morning will come.
And the ghosts of yesterday will no longer haunt.

But instead, she hears that familiar tune.
And it all comes back.
Evenings of dreading the short walk between the bus station and home.
While the someones blasted that same familiar tune about... "evening"
Things, people, thoughts she wanted to avoid.
And the reminders of the ones who walked in, had their fun and left her empty again.
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
After the sleep, morning will come.
And the ghosts of yesterday will no longer haunt.

But instead, she sees their faces.
And it all comes back.
Evenings of long walks with her tiny hand in his.
And her tiny feet on his as they twirled around the room.
Years of innocence where nothing else mattered except the gentle giants in her life.
And how quickly that all ended as he was no more.
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
After the sleep, morning will come.
And the ghosts of yesterday will no longer haunt.

But instead, she's confronted with herself.
And it all comes back.
The ghosts of yesterday.
And the joy she found, stolen yet again.
The mask of strength removed.
And frozen emotions stirred again.
Go to sleep, go to sleep.
After the sleep, morning will come.
And the ghosts of yesterday will no longer haunt.

Memories of pain.
Goodbyes said too soon. No, goodbyes she never wanted to say.
Hands she should have kept holding for the journey but pushed away because she was too used to being alone.
The longing for a sense of belonging somewhere - anywhere.
They all return to haunt when night comes.

Morning will come - she knows this in her heart.
Ashes will turn to beauty - she knows this too.
But the nights are cold and dark. And long.

Morning will come.
But how long?

So hold me Jesus,
I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of peace.

Thoughts on Religious Harmony from the Culturally Mixed-Up Singaporean...

As a general rule of life, I avoid making any kind of commentary on religious or political scandals. But I guess there are always exceptions, and today is probably one of those.

The scandal that was supposed to unfold this weekend involved the whole deal of the Burning of the Koran by the pastor in Florida. This isn't the first literature burning scandal to be happening in my lifetime, so I was about to just shake my head and keep my mouth shut lest I get slammed by either sides.

But then I thought about my Muslim friends that I grew up with. Today, they celebrate Hari Raya Puasa (as it is so called amongst Muslims in Southeast Asia). Today, they celebrate the end of Ramadan, where they've just spent a month fasting as part of their faith tradition's call to identify with the needs of the world. And if it goes as the pastor in Florida had planned, tomorrow their sacred scriptures that call them to these acts of reconciling with the world will be burnt.

I'm sorry, they may not be claiming Christ. But are these not peaceful thoughts that Christ would preach as well?

So much more I can say, but tonight, I'm thankful for my Muslim friends and all that they've taught me about love. Oh, I could tell you stories of this love and this friendship, but words won't be enough.

There's a little magnet on our fridge that came in a care-package a few years ago. It reads:

Declaration on Religious Harmony
We, the people in Singapore,
declare that religious harmony is vital for peace, progress and prosperity in our multi-racial and multi-religious Nation.


We resolve to strengthen religious harmony through mutual tolerance, confidence, respect and understanding.


We shall always
Recognise the secular nature of our State,
Promote cohesion within our society,
Respect each other's freedom of religion,
Grow our common space while respecting our diversity,
Foster inter-religious communications,


and thereby ensure that religion will not be abused to create conflict and disharmony in Singapore.


I share this not to brag about the little island-city that holds my citizenship. But these are the values that we were taught growing up. And while not all of us get the big picture of the racial/religious harmony thing, at least we try.

And it kind of makes me wonder what my Singaporean friends are thinking of the Church in America. Or for that matter, what the rest of the world thinks now. It's sad, but the bad press gets out a lot faster than the good stuff that's happening...

Constructing Theology...

I once told the dude that eventually became my theology professor that I didn't care about theology. Even after two years of seminary, I still don't. At least, not theology that live in books and not in daily lives. In fact, I've made it my goal in life to, as much as possible, NOT sound like I'm a seminary student.

But maybe I need to go back to Constructive Theology I all over again. What is theology anyway, if it only lives in books? And lately, I've found myself landing back in the stomping grounds of Constructive Theology I with Dr. Strege again. We stomped, trashed and pulled apart so much of our previously constructed theology only to be left with what?

More questions.

So many people dying.
So many young people dying, killing themselves or being killed whether purposefully or not by someone else.
People who have sacrificed for ministry being called again and again to sacrifice even more.
Then there are the ones who sit around with money to burn.

How is God fair?
And what about life?
How does it have meaning if all of it is merely suffering?

So many questions.

We talked about so much of this in Theology classes. But yet when it's lived out it seems so much more painful.

And once again, I'm too incoherent to write clearly, but the wheels are turning too quickly in the head that I can't simply fall asleep.

The simple truth?
Jesus loves me, this I know.

And
We love because He first loved us.


Other than that, I don't know anymore.

If you're the praying type, say a prayer for your jaded friend here, aight?

Love you all.