Airports = Home #3

Somewhere over the course of the last 6 years, airports have become like home to me. It’s one of my favourite places simply because I can people-watch. And it’s the one place that no matter what country I’m in, I know how to find my way around.

And so here I am at Flughafen Tegel, (Tegel airport) in Berlin, Germany. The last 2½ months have flown by way too quickly and now I’m heading back to Anderson, Indiana. And as I sit here and watch people again, I’m reminded of all the places I’ve been, the names and the faces that I will miss.

Like coffee, Nutella and Brezelbrotchen for breakfast. And the $0.69 shower gel from Schlecker that smells amazing. The Turkish market. And Schwarze Olive. Brandenburger Tor, Potsdamer Platz, Ku-damm and Hackescher Markt. Curry wurst and pomme frites mit mayo. And Bitter Lemon and Apfel Schorle. Wandering around Ikea and the Swedish meatballs for lunch. Cakes and coffee from Mr. Minsch. The little ice-cream places everywhere, especially the one just a couple blocks from Yorckstrasse. Oh, and definitely coffee. The beautiful Black Forest. And figuring my way around the S-Bahn and U-Bahn.

And Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall who are on their way back to Yorckstrasse having just dropped me off here – for accountability, for probing and asking questions, for the curiosity and interest in my life and the next chapters that will unfold.

The teenagers from Teenfreizeit whom I’ve just spent the last week with – I can’t think of a better way to end my time here, knowing that there’s a circle of people who love me not because of any reason other than simply because we’re in the same place at the same time. Ellen, Charlotte, Jonas, Anna, Daniel, Frederik, Torno, Pia, Salina, Elena, Johanna, Lisa, Lea, Elena – love you all.

And Jana, whom I met at Gastegottesdienst on Sunday – you’re so much fun.

The crazy mitarbeiters, for laughing at and with me, for teaching me German, for being the circle for me. Sarah, Jeffrey, Alfred, Lisa, Klaudia, David, Heidi, Stefan, Tekle, Adrian, Tillman – you guys are fantastic.

Yasmin, thank you for “seeing” me.

Sabine and Raffi - you guys are nuts, but I keep you both close to my heart.

The people I met at Fritzlar, for restoring my faith in community by demonstrating what it really means to live amongst a community that really cares. Birte, Maria, Judith, Sarah, Nabil, Sabestian, Rainner and Monica, Irene, Salina, and everyone else – thank you.

Pforzheim friends, for showing me that healthy churches are possible. And for all the new friends who remind me it’s ok to be a TCK, to not know what the future holds, and to take time for coffee, ice-cream and football. Manuel, Luzi, Natascha, Julia, Sanna, Jonathan, Kristine, Edgar – thank you.

Friends from Hannover, thank you.  For letting me into some of the broken places in your live, for reminding me it’s still ok to hurt. Siggi, Sanna and Amy – thank you.

The fun neighbours and people who are a part of the life in the Kreuzberg community, Ruth, Paul, Danitza and Atamarie, Jie Qiong, Rocio, Andy and Mariko, Herr Minsch, Mustafa and Banu, Nancy, Sascha, Suzann, Patricia, Micro, Svitlana, Astrid – you’re some kind of wonderful.

Simone, Leon and Rene Havlik, love you all.

And the Berlin team. For letting me into your lives, your team and your rhythm, for trusting me with your little ones, thank you, thank you, thank you. Adrian, Mely and Emilia, Ralf, Cymin and Samira, I leave pieces of my heart with you.

Aaron, thank you for being the fun brother I got to travel a little bit with, go football-crazy with and people-watch with. Bless you and Nicole.

Christian, you’ve become like the little brother I never had. I’ll miss you and your “chicken-butt” rubbish.

And finally, Kelley and Rhonda. For letting me into your lives, to share your space and your rhythm, for asking the hard questions and for walking beside me. No words but thanks.

And now I head back to good old Anderson, having left huge pieces of my heart in Deutschland, not only because of the food or the places I’ll miss, but the people. If there’s one main thing I’ve learnt from the last 2.5 months, it’s that just because I leave doesn’t mean the relationships are over. No, I’m looking forward to walking even further with these new friends – even if I only get small glimpses of the rest of their journey from time to time now.

I carry your heart.

I carry your heart in my heart.

Love you all.

Editor's note: This entry was written earlier today but I was unable to get online to post it when I was sitting at Tegel Airport.

Coming Around Full-Circle

So this past week has been spent getting ready for Patrick, Jamie and Marco to arrive, getting them settled in, then getting ready for Kelley, Rhonda and Christian to get home. And beginning the round of "auf wiedersehen"s... I'm going to try to keep this one short because my brain is fried by the sun and another overdose of German.

A Few of my Favourite Things
The last week spent with the Nachtigalls have reminded me of why I love "third-culture" people. I guess a part of it is because part of the Nachtigalls' cross-cultural life was spent in Hong Kong - a culture that reminds me a lot of home. Like being able to understand their Cantonese bits of conversation when they're trying to figure out how to politely excuse themselves from a party. Or Jamie's use British vocab like "biscuits" (no, they don't mean those bread-like things you have for breakfast - they're cookies) and "lifts" (instead of elevators). Or how they have Marco call me Jael jie-jie (the Cantonese word for sister), the way the Chinese (and some of the families we work with) do.

And just hanging out with them and the Philips now that they're home... Yes, please.

Breathing in the Berlin Air
Kelley, Rhonda and Christian were supposed to arrive in Berlin on Wednesday, but due to a flight delay, they didn't get in till yesterday morning. As a result, I had a day off with nothing to do, so of course I took the time to wander around, breathing in as much of the Berlin air as I could since I only have a few more days left here.

It started with the bike-ride to finish an errand, then to the Turkish market. It was the strangest feeling recalling the first time I was there. It was my first time heading out to explore by myself and knowing how directionally-challenged I am, I had to get very specific directions from Rhonda to be sure I didn't get lost. But now I know the back roads and the scenic routes thanks to Ruth. And even while walking around this time, I didn't feel touristy anymore. And the scents of the fish and the spices welcomed me like I was the 5-year-old going to the wet market in Singapore with my mum all over again.

After that was over, it was off to Hackescher Markt, one of the places that we hit when the AU group was here. Well, when the group was here, we hopped on whatever S-Bahn, U-Bahn or bus Aaron told us to, not paying attention to where we were going or what stop we were alighting at. So this time, having figured out where I was going, I still ended up wandering around the downtown Berlin area (on foot, with flip-flops - I hadn't anticipated my wandering spirit to be awakened, but it did and now my feet are not happy).

As I walked around, I was suddenly reminded of how it only took two months before Berlin went from foreign to familiar. And suddenly, I wasn't the seminary student here to do an internship on living cross-culturally in an urban setting anymore. No, it almost felt like I was back in Singapore over Christmas break, and it was the last couple of days I had left to finish up the last-minute shopping and just wandering all over the old haunts trying to breathe in as much of the Singapore air as I could.

Except with Berlin, I don't know if I'll ever make it back again, and if so, when that will be. But such is life now, I guess.

Tell Me The Old, Old Stories
And then today I got to visit with and catch up with the stories of some old friends.

Ruth...
The last time we talked about Ruth, we were at the dentist and she was marveling at the intricacies of the dental work and how nice the dentist was. Oh, and of course, the Deutschland game and playing Rock Band with Christian.

Well, on our way back from dinner last night, we ran into her again and she told Rhonda and I she wanted to talk to us some time. So we invited her over tonight, and spent the day today trying to figure out what it might be that she wanted to talk to us about.

She came over around 5 today and we spent a few minutes letting her catch Rhonda up on what she had been up to in the last three weeks that they were in the US. Ruth had been in training at a news-stand place for the last couple weeks to work there. Apparently, this news-stand place also "trades" second-hand books. To make the long story short, one of the books she found opened up things in her past and made her think a little bit more about spiritual things and some of the things she had walked away from. So her curiosity about Christ grew, and she decided she wanted to talk to us about it because she figured we knew about this Jesus deal. But now that she has processed that, she's starting to realise this is really all a process. The way she said it, it's like she's been sitting on a nut-shell drifting on a really wide river that she knows she will never get lost in. But now she's ready to dive in and let the river take her wherever.

I guess you just have to be there.

Justin
I was at the cafe again today where I usually run into Justin. Last time I saw him, there was so much hope in his story. I was REALLY bummed I didn't see him today since this was the last time I would be able to stop in so I at least wanted to say goodbye. The ladies who were working today said they haven't really seen him very much in the last couple weeks since the last time I was there. One of the times he was there, the guy overseeing the cafe was there as well and he took him out for ice-cream.

So I don't know what's happened in the last chapter of his story, but I'm really hoping he's staying strong putting one foot in front of the next as he keeps walking down that road. I left my e-mail address with the ladies at the cafe so I can keep up with what's happening with him. Hey, if you're the praying type, say a prayer for my friend if you remember. It's not the end of the story yet.

Gretchen
Gretchen's probably my favourite of all the people I've met at the cafe. I told her how happy I was to see her because this was my last visit and she said, "Oh good, then I'm glad I came in! We will have to sit down and talk."

So we did. And then I remembered the recipes she had promised. And she said oh, she had already brought it to the cafe days ago, and Patricia, one of the ladies who work there said she would e-mail it to Rhonda and I. And then we joked about how much I didn't want to be in a red dress for Ginny's wedding.

And just talked. And laughed.

Just before she left, I promised I would e-mail Patricia to let her know what I thought of the recipes.


These. These are the things I will miss most about Berlin. More than just Deutschland fussball, the apfel schorle, coffee with nutella on brezel brotchen, the $0.69 nice smelling shower gel from Schlecker, the wide variety of restaurants between Yorckstrasse and Bergmennstrasse, Mr. Minsch's erdbeeren kuchen, and all the other little Berlin things.

I will miss those things. But I will miss my friends so much more.

As I was sitting at the cafe in-between conversations, all I could think of was, "Two months ago, you were afraid of having conversations in this place. You didn't know where you fit in. You were afraid the language barrier could not be broken in order for friendships to happen. And look where you are now."

It's hard to believe a year ago when this little idea of coming to Germany first started, I saw it all as a little joke that will eventually go away. Now I'm leaving little pieces of my heart here in this city, and with each one of my new friends.

But I guess this is life now, huh?

Personal Notes...

#1
They say people in ministry don't cry. They're not supposed to.
Or maybe we just don't want to think they do or don't want to see it because they're supposed to be the strong ones.
But people in ministry are people too.
They hurt too.
They lose a friend, a sibling, a child.
They say a lot of hellos, but they also say a lot of goodbyes.
And how can they not cry when they keep leaving pieces of their hearts with people and places?

Hey, I know it's not October and not time for Clergy Appreciation month yet, but take a little time today to care for the people in ministry around you, will ya?

#2
Two years of seminary are over and done with now. How much have I learnt? Not much more than the extent of how much I don't know, and how much I will probably never figure out. Except for that one constant: love. All that digging, all that discussing, all that academia, only to come back to the simple truth: love.

As my dear wise friend Mike so brilliantly worded it, "Love is so simple and yet so profound. We study in order to understand the profound part. We "do" in order to understand the simple part. We need both."

#3
So quitting my job and coming to Germany may not have been the smartest thing to do given the way the economy is now. Even till the month before I left, people kept asking if I had really thought through this carefully.

Well, it may not have been the smartest thing to do, but it's definitely been the biggest step of faith I've taken, and boy what an adventure this has been. And life is about adventure, isn't it?

Before I came, I thought I had two years left of school - two more years to figure out what's next, or if I wanted to do even more schooling. But then I came here and my world got turned inside out and upside down all over again and I think I found/remembered even more of who I really am and not just who the Singaporean/American societies have wanted me to be.

And so, I'll finish school in May with one degree instead of two. In the meantime, I'm still looking for some kind of employment to help pay for this last year of school. The good news is, now instead of taking a full-load, I'll only need to take three in each semester to maintain a full-time status for my student visa - which cuts down on tuition AND gives me more time to either work or simply hang out with people. AND the other good news is that I might have my old student job at the Human Resources office at AU back for a while to tide me over till I find something else.

Big step of faith, eh?

Peter tried another angle: "We left everything and followed you." Jesus said, "Mark my words, no one who sacrifices house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, land—whatever—because of me and the Message will lose out. They'll get it all back, but multiplied many times in homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land—but also in troubles. And then the bonus of eternal life! This is once again the Great Reversal: Many who are first will end up last, and the last first."
- Mark 10:28-31

Then what's next? Well, I've already taken a big step of faith so another big step wouldn't hurt, right? Who knows. There are a few possibilities, but if you want to know, we'll have to go out to dinner... Or do it the German way - coffee or ice-cream.
 
#4
As I mentioned earlier, I think I've found even more of myself in the last 2 months. And now that my time here is ending, I'm still going to love with all that I am, can and have. But I also need to start preparing mentally, physically and emotionally to head back to Anderson.
 
When I left Anderson, I was in such a mess that I didn't even realise what a mess I was in. I can't say I've completely sorted through the mess, but at least now I see the mess. And now I'm returning to one of the "home cultures" again. I don't know if Anderson is ready for me - or I for them, but here we go. The countdown now stands at fourteen days. Or two weeks. Two weeks too little.
 
Hey, if you're the praying type, say a prayer if you remember, will ya?
 
Love you all

Me? A Missionary??

I know it's WAY too late for me to be up writing, much less to try to be coherent, but my brain is still hyperactive so just let me ramble for a little bit if that's ok.

Patrick asked me earlier today if I wanted to be a missionary. If you had asked me that question three years ago, the answer would probably have been an easy, "Yes, sign me up!" But tonight, it took almost everything within me to not laugh in his face and say, "Are you kidding me? I've worked alongside enough of you, and for a long enough period of time to know how stressful the lives of missionaries are. Do I WANT to be a missionary? Heck no!"

So what exactly do I want to do, you ask. Well, three years ago you asked me those questions, and three years later, it's still the same answer.

I don't have a clue.

Maybe the loftiest ambitions I have for my life are still overly simplistic because I haven't seen enough of the world to dream any bigger. But honestly, those dreams of working at a little coffee place, running a Bed and Breakfast style of a retreat space, and basically just hanging out, meeting people, listening to their stories and encouraging them to take time to care for their souls... Those dreams from three years ago, they haven't gone away.

If you consider that ministry, then yes. I want to do ministry.

And I know that no matter where I move to, I'm already too culturally messed up to really claim anywhere as my home base. So yes, I want to live cross-culturally - or rather, I don't really have a choice about that anymore.

And if you consider cross-cultural ministry being a missionary, then yes. I want to be a missionary.

But no, I don't want to write reports about how many people I've hung out with, making my new friends nothing but mere statistics, and their stories nothing more than just another project to be filed away in the "prayer request" drawers. No, I don't want people who don't know the stories of my friends' lives to tell me I should spend more time convincing them to share my beliefs just because I am dependent on those people for my meals and living expenses. And no, I don't want to read books or go to "training school for cross-cultural ministry" to learn what it means to live in a new city - I want to learn hands-on from my new friends.

And yes, I do know that this means I will take a lot longer to figure out where the heck I'm going to land after seminary because I don't want to merely conform to the system just so I can get the results. Honestly? Call me headstrong if you would like, or whatever word you can come up with, but I don't care about the results. I don't care if I have coffee daily with the same friend and I don't end up convincing them to share my beliefs.

Because if we think about it, Christ's agape is unconditional. We were created as an expression of his love: a love that existed before - and in spite of - us. And whether we respond to that love or not is our choice. He doesn't try to convince us one way or another - He just loves.

And we think of Hosea - a human example of unconditionally loving his prostitute wife no matter how many times she walked away again. And Hosea was human - how much more then, is Christ's agape? And so, in the frailty of my humanity, that is all that I could possibly offer - agape, not belief systems. Because agape is all that Christ gave me, not my belief systems - those are merely human constructs.

But I also know sometimes if I would just work with the human constructs (like perhaps a sheet of paper that says "Master of Arts"), the little agape has the potential to reach further distances.

And for that reason, I will stick around to work with the human constructs.

But me? A missionary?

You decide.

Fritzlar. And the Countdown Begins...

And so it's Saturday morning, and I find myself sitting in the Philips' dining room, having just had breakfast and now on to my second cup of coffee, listening to 陶喆, my favourite Chinese singer, and writing this. And the rest of today will be spent hanging out with Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall - some of my favourite people in the world, doing some painting for the Teenfreizeit (the annual teen camp for the Church of God in Germany) banner, and watching football, cheering on Deutschland in the 3rd-4th placing match tonight. Life can't get any better, right?

False. This all ends in 18 days and I'll be making my way back to the cornfields of good ol' Anderson, Indiana. I'll write more about this in a bit, but first let me tell you about my second adventure - to Fritzlar.

Fritzlar
So Fritzlar. It's a little German town southwest of Berlin, close to Wabern. It's a little bigger than Chesterfield, Indiana except it actually has its own downtown area that's like your cute little German town. I know we've talked about how much I love the big city, so you're probably wondering what brought me to Fritzlar.

Well, Fritzlar is where CB-F (Christliche Bildungsstätte Fritzlar) is located. This is the Bible school of the Church of God in Germany. I may or may not have mentioned this in an earlier entry, but a part of my internship in Berlin involves traveling around Germany, connecting with churches and pastors, and getting a better understanding of how what we're doing in Berlin fits into the greater context of the Church of God in Germany. My trips to Hannover and Pforzheim (and stopping briefly at Calw) made those connections with the pastors and churches. So Fritzlar was the piece that connected me with the ones in preparation for ministry, and Teenfreizeit in a little over a week would bring the connection with the younger generation of the Church of God.

So Fritzlar. It's a little Bible school that has a bit of a monastic feel to it. Birte, whom I had met a couple weeks ago when she was in Berlin, said there are currently about 18 students, and they basically live and have their classes in two buildings. One building houses the offices of the Bibel schule, the Klinners who are the ones currently giving oversight to the running of the school, the kitchen, dining room and community space, and on two separate floors, the single male and female students. For those of you who have paid your dues at Anderson University, this haus (building) reminds me a lot of Myers Hall. And in the other building that's owned by the church, there's the room where we've been watching all the football matches, and a few other community spaces. This is also where the classrooms and library are, as well as where the married couples live. Small setting, small school, so it's like Birte said, "we're all like a family."

So I arrived on Friday, and that evening we went out to the lake and had a game of volleyball. I was also "initiated" into the group with the Mate ritual, except it was cold lemonade instead of hot water. So much fun.

Saturday, of course, was the big game day. If I thought Berlin was crazy with the way they celebrated a football victory, I clearly hadn't been with the students at the Bibel schule. Families from the church came over to watch the game with us. Between the students, the kids and the black, red and yellow vuvuzelas, we were a riot. After the game was over, we walked up to the downtown area where the guys went crazy with their celebrations. As we were walking up, we were greeted by car after car honking and waving their black, red and yellow gear. One older couple had even made a sign that read, "Auf Wiedersehen! We cry for you, Argentina!" The battery for my camera had died by then or I would have taken a photo of it.

Sunday came around, and we went to the little chapel close to the school for church. That night, we also had a Bollywood party. A couple of the girls had just returned from spending some time in India and wanted to share that. Sunday was an interesting day for me because I was reminded again of how we who have spent some time living cross-culturally always have a strange knack finding each other even in a big crowd - and my "strange" interest for relating to people with stories like that.

That afternoon, I met Inthira for the first time. Inthira was born in Thailand to an Indian father and Burmese mother. After the tsunami hit in 2004, she lost everything. By some strange twist of fate, she and her sister somehow found a way to Germany. There she decided to give her life back to God by enrolling in the Bible school at Fritzlar. We chatted for a bit as we, together with Birte, Fabiano and Nabil made dinner together for our Bollywood party. I also got to practise a few words of Mandarin with her since she said she wants to start practising her Mandarin again as she's feeling called to China. If you know my call to ministry story, you're probably laughing because that same call to China was where this whole crazy journey started for me.

Then that night at dinner, I got to visit with Monica Klinner for a bit as well. Andrew Gale and Steve Rennick from Church at the Crossing in Indianapolis were there as guest teachers, and it was Fourth of July, Independence Day in the United States. So of course, I wished Andrew a happy Fourth, to which he got all excited because someone besides him and Steve remembered an American celebration. So he turned to Steve and said, "Here's another ... oh wait, you're not American..." To which of course I had to laugh because I was reminded again of my "Third-Culture-Kid"ness. So we then went over and wished Monica as well, who's American, but she's married to a German and had lived in Germany for so long that she sometimes forgets American celebrations as well.

Oh, I wish I had time to tell you all these stories, but I guess you just have to be there.

Hey, if you want to see pictures, you should click here

So the Countdown Begins...
And so it begins. Only 18 days left in this beautiful part of the world. Not that the other parts of the world I've been to are any less beautiful, but... you get the point.

I'm not about to get all melancholic about the last 2.5 months... At least, not yet. But my time here has been really good. Frustrating at times, nerve-wrecking at times, exciting at times. But in all, REALLY good.

Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall arrived in Berlin last night and I got to go meet them at the airport. As I manouevered my way around the city, I found myself being reminded - and surprised - of the fact that I've really only been here 2.5 months. I think anyone who knows me will probably expect me to come back different from when I left, but I think even I myself am surprised by who I've become in a short time.

Let me rephrase that. I don't think I've necessarily become a different person over the last couple of months. But I think I'm definitely finding more of myself - and how my personality of adapting easily to living cross-culturally means that I really don't conform to the molds of any mainstream culture.

I love the postmodern, post-Christian work we're doing in Berlin. But I also miss the traditional church.
I don't think I can live in Midwestern America very much longer because of its melting pot culture. But I will always defend my American "family" (that I can't completely claim to be my own either) when the bad misrepresentations of America rear their ugly heads.

And most importantly, I learnt that just because I don't completely fit in somewhere means that I should completely reject it or want to have anything to do with it. I would definitely feel a lot more comfortable in the postmodern, post-Christian world, but I still hold the traditional church with utmost respect.

So much, so much to process. But special thanks to Arthur, Armando, MaryAnn, Patrick and Jamie (and Marco) for long e-mails, asking questions, listening, poking and probing.

For Water...
Stumbled upon this verse out of our shared reading ...

"For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because of your name as followers of Christ, truly I say to you, he will not lose his reward." - Mark 9:41

... and it made me think of each one of you who have "given me a cup of water to drink" regardless of whether or not you knew what I was doing, but simply out of knowing I was answering to my name as a follower of Christ. In these (unusually hot by Berlin's standard) summer days and living in a country that doesn't believe in air-conitioning, this whole "give you a cup of water to drink" idea took on a whole new meaning.

To each one of you who have given me a cup of water to drink so I can take one more step on this journey, thank you.

Love you all.

Adventures in South Germany

Alright, I know I'm behind on writing since I didn't exactly write about the entirety of my travels to South Germany besides the fact that I fell in love with the people at Pforzheim and now I'm already halfway through my trip to Fritzlar. So let me back-trek a bit. (Left: Beautiful, beautiful Pforzheim. Does this remind anyone of the Sound of Music?)

Pastor Manuel

So the Saturday morning that Rhonda and Christian left to go back to the US, I went on my first travel adventure by myself to Pforzheim, a more rural town in South Germany. Manuel Killisch is an old acquaintance whom I had known of during my undergraduate years when he was at the School of Theology. We didn't know each other all that well besides that we were both involved in music, some kind of ministry and that we had a lot of common close friends.

Anyhow, after he graduated from SOT, he served in Argentina for 2.5 years. As I recall what he told me of the story, he went first mostly just to live and learn the language and culture, teach seminars, and see what was going on with the work there. After about a year, he picked up the Spanish language. He was also invited by the church in Argentina to help revive the Bible school that his grandfather had started years ago. A year ago, the church in Pforzheim invited him to return to Germany to be their pastor. Seeing as the Bible school was doing well, he left and took up the pastorate in Pforzheim.

The Russian-Germans and a brief history of the Eastern European Church of God
One of the last things I got to do before returning to Berlin was to sit and have tea with the Baumgartners, an older couple who had lived in Uzbekistan for 33 years before moving back to Germany in 1989. During that 90 minutes, they gave me a crash course on the history of the Russian-Germans and the history of the Germany and the Eastern European Church of God. So here's as much of that history as I can remember from that crash course.

Way back in the 1700s, the Czar in Russia had opened up the country to anyone who wanted to come, promising free taxes and free land. Because of this, there was a mass movement of Germans flocking to Russia. The Baumgartners (this was way back when, not the couple I had tea with), who had been amongst the first to come into contact with the Gospel Trumpet Company and had been involved with starting the movement in Germany, were amongst some of those who moved to Russia. When they got to Russia, they took the work with them.

However, what the Czar promised, she did not keep. Life was hard for the Germans but still they stayed on. Before long, the Marxist regime took over and life got even harder. Then when the World War happened, the Russians were afraid that the German migrants would be in cahoots with the German military. So they were treated even more harshly and some of them were forced to leave their homes with as much as they could carry in their hands - including their children and all. They were then sent to work in the communes of mass production in areas like Uzbekistan and Krygyzstan.

The Baumgartners that Manuel and I had tea with, he is from Uzbekistan and she from Kazakhstan. (Or maybe it's the other way around, I don't remember...) In 1989 after the fall of the Berlin wall, they returned to Germany for the first time. All their lives they had been looking forward to the day of returning, full of dreams of what the motherland would hold, and always wondering why in the world did their forefathers leave? And upon the return to Deutschland, they realise that there's nowhere that is perfect - there will always be problems anywhere.

This. This is the way to learn history - with homemade cakes and pastries, and a good cup of tea from Uzbekistan.

The funny thing is (and all you feminists out there would enjoy this) - at one point during the conversation, he knocked the cup of tea over and she just shook her head and said, "He's not a woman, that's why he makes a mess." But also, Manuel said she's just a feisty lady to begin with. Some weeks ago, she called to tell him she had some homemade cakes for him and asked him to stop by to pick it up. He was busy that day so he didn't make it over. He got another phonecall the next day... It was her again, asking him to not be lazy and come pick up the cakes. At the door, he was greeted with a slap on his face saying, "You need to not be so lazy."

I guess you just have to be there.

Lovely Folks...

And of course, I have to tell you about the people.

Manuel had asked me earlier in the week if I would be willing to share my story at Youth on Saturday evening. Well, Saturday afternoon when I got there, he told me that Youth that night had been cancelled because there were two bachelor parties going on and others traveling out of town. (Just a quick FYI: In Germany, "Youth Group" refers to the young people 17 and above. The 13-16 year-olds are the Teenies). So instead of the regular youth meeting, we went over to the Church of God nearby in Calw, about 20 minutes away, to hang out at their special youth service. The students from the Bibel Schule in Fritzlar were there that weekend for the special youth service on Saturday night and baptism on Sunday.

That night, I met Maureen (whom I only found out yesterday that her father was the pastor in Barcelona, Spain, whose name I've heard a lot because of my job at Global Missions) and Veronica. As it turns out, Maureen wasn't about to be the last of these cross-cultural people I was going to meet. (Left: Maureen)

Before we left Calw on Saturday night, Manuel introduced me to Sanna who was going to be my host and translator while Manuel was being Pastor the next morning. Sanna's parents were amongst the group of Russian-Germans as well. As were Luzi, who hosted me the few days I was there, and her husband. And Luzi and I got along great. Her father was one of the pastors in Pforzheim but had "retired" fairly recently and now focuses on ministry with the older generation, especially those like the Baumgartners. Oh for the record, you heard me right. Paul (Luzi's dad) is retired, but if you know anything about ministry, you probably already realise you never really retire until the day you're lying 6 feet under (unless of course, you live in Singapore, to which I mean "until the day you're stuck in an urn in the wall somewhere"). [And while we're at it, before you ask me anymore questions about Arthur Kelly, yes, I know he's "retired" to Oregon, but no I have no idea what he's doing besides hanging out with John and Gwen. And yes, "hanging out" can be ministry too, thank you very much.]

Sorry, I got distracted.

Because Luzi grew up as a Pastor's Kid, she understood what I meant when I started talking about wanting to work with missionaries and their families. [If you want to know more about this, you're going to have to buy me coffee or dinner and be willing to sit down for a while.]

And then there was Jonathan and Kristine. Sunday after church, and after the Family Day, we stayed around for lunch and fellowship, and then the big football match against England that afternoon. The thing that impressed me was that church was over at around noon, but the match didn't start till 4pm. Any other church I've been to, people would have stayed around for a bit of fellowship and of course, have lunch. If they were interested in watching the game at church, they would probably go home and have a quick nap or change before coming back to the church. But no, at this church, people ate, hung out and had cake and coffee until it was game time. (Above left: Watching football)

Well, during this time, I got to hang out with Jonathan, Kristine and their kids, Jamie and Kian. Jonathan's originally from Oregon but had moved to Germany after high-school. I don't remember where everything fits, but somewhere on the timeline, he and Kristine got married, he went to Fritzlar for a couple years in answering the call to ministry, then went back to Warner Pacific for some time so Kristine could get the study-abroad experience as well since she was going to be an English teacher back in Germany, and then served as the pastor of families in Pforzheim for a few years. It wasn't too long before he got burnt out with ministry and left the church in Pforzheim. I don't know if it was merely coincidence or if again, Manuel had told them I was going to be there, but the Sunday I met them was the first time they had been back at the church for two years. Beautiful, beautiful family. (Above right: Jamie and his Opa playing volleyball with the youth group and Pastor Manuel)

And then there was Natascha. Apparently Manuel had told her to get connected with me while I'm here, and that I would be sharing my story at youth that Saturday evening. But since we ended up going to Calw instead, Manuel found her at half-time during the Germany-England game and told her if she didn't talk to me now, she may not have another chance. I was bewildered because I didn't know what Manuel thought I had to offer her, especially because I don't know half of what I'm doing most of the time either. But we chatted for a few minutes and she said she was bummed I wasn't going to stick around till the next Saturday so she could hear my story at the next youth meeting. So instead, we went out for coffee and ice-cream on Monday.

If there's something I've learnt from the Germans, there's NEVER a bad time for coffee or ice-cream. May I always remember that... Not so much for the coffee or the ice-cream, but for the stories I get to join with even for just a few brief moments during this time. Come to find out, we have so much in common with our stories, being at similar crossroads and trying to figure out what's next in our journey.

Alright, I'm tired of writing, so here are a few more silly pictures...

We went out for ice-cream after the game on Sunday and this was the madness that ensued after that. You can't see her in the picture, but one of the girls is playing My Heart Will Go On on the piano accompanied by Luzi (far left on the chair) with her son and Pastor Manuel on the viola.

And this is Julia's victory dance after Deutschland defeated England.

And just in case you wondered if I've disappeared into the words on my blog... No, I'm still very much alive.

Love you all.

Thomas Merton Prayer

All day today I've been asking God, I didn't come here to fall in love with these people, so what makes you think it's ok to let that happen? And then I realised, that IS really why I came here. But still it didn't make me feel any better.

I'm still looking for answers, trying to find direction. Over coffee with Natascha on Monday, I found what I had to say to her to probably be more true for myself than for her. But ich weiss nicht. It's ok to not know.

So I leave you with this prayer that an older, wiser friend of mine shared.

And on an unrelated note, I hope the recent change in background didn't throw anyone off. Also, someone just pointed out to me that they can't comment here. I just fixed that tonight, so have at it if you would like.

On that note, here's Thomas Merton...
MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"