Airports = Home #3

Somewhere over the course of the last 6 years, airports have become like home to me. It’s one of my favourite places simply because I can people-watch. And it’s the one place that no matter what country I’m in, I know how to find my way around.

And so here I am at Flughafen Tegel, (Tegel airport) in Berlin, Germany. The last 2½ months have flown by way too quickly and now I’m heading back to Anderson, Indiana. And as I sit here and watch people again, I’m reminded of all the places I’ve been, the names and the faces that I will miss.

Like coffee, Nutella and Brezelbrotchen for breakfast. And the $0.69 shower gel from Schlecker that smells amazing. The Turkish market. And Schwarze Olive. Brandenburger Tor, Potsdamer Platz, Ku-damm and Hackescher Markt. Curry wurst and pomme frites mit mayo. And Bitter Lemon and Apfel Schorle. Wandering around Ikea and the Swedish meatballs for lunch. Cakes and coffee from Mr. Minsch. The little ice-cream places everywhere, especially the one just a couple blocks from Yorckstrasse. Oh, and definitely coffee. The beautiful Black Forest. And figuring my way around the S-Bahn and U-Bahn.

And Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall who are on their way back to Yorckstrasse having just dropped me off here – for accountability, for probing and asking questions, for the curiosity and interest in my life and the next chapters that will unfold.

The teenagers from Teenfreizeit whom I’ve just spent the last week with – I can’t think of a better way to end my time here, knowing that there’s a circle of people who love me not because of any reason other than simply because we’re in the same place at the same time. Ellen, Charlotte, Jonas, Anna, Daniel, Frederik, Torno, Pia, Salina, Elena, Johanna, Lisa, Lea, Elena – love you all.

And Jana, whom I met at Gastegottesdienst on Sunday – you’re so much fun.

The crazy mitarbeiters, for laughing at and with me, for teaching me German, for being the circle for me. Sarah, Jeffrey, Alfred, Lisa, Klaudia, David, Heidi, Stefan, Tekle, Adrian, Tillman – you guys are fantastic.

Yasmin, thank you for “seeing” me.

Sabine and Raffi - you guys are nuts, but I keep you both close to my heart.

The people I met at Fritzlar, for restoring my faith in community by demonstrating what it really means to live amongst a community that really cares. Birte, Maria, Judith, Sarah, Nabil, Sabestian, Rainner and Monica, Irene, Salina, and everyone else – thank you.

Pforzheim friends, for showing me that healthy churches are possible. And for all the new friends who remind me it’s ok to be a TCK, to not know what the future holds, and to take time for coffee, ice-cream and football. Manuel, Luzi, Natascha, Julia, Sanna, Jonathan, Kristine, Edgar – thank you.

Friends from Hannover, thank you.  For letting me into some of the broken places in your live, for reminding me it’s still ok to hurt. Siggi, Sanna and Amy – thank you.

The fun neighbours and people who are a part of the life in the Kreuzberg community, Ruth, Paul, Danitza and Atamarie, Jie Qiong, Rocio, Andy and Mariko, Herr Minsch, Mustafa and Banu, Nancy, Sascha, Suzann, Patricia, Micro, Svitlana, Astrid – you’re some kind of wonderful.

Simone, Leon and Rene Havlik, love you all.

And the Berlin team. For letting me into your lives, your team and your rhythm, for trusting me with your little ones, thank you, thank you, thank you. Adrian, Mely and Emilia, Ralf, Cymin and Samira, I leave pieces of my heart with you.

Aaron, thank you for being the fun brother I got to travel a little bit with, go football-crazy with and people-watch with. Bless you and Nicole.

Christian, you’ve become like the little brother I never had. I’ll miss you and your “chicken-butt” rubbish.

And finally, Kelley and Rhonda. For letting me into your lives, to share your space and your rhythm, for asking the hard questions and for walking beside me. No words but thanks.

And now I head back to good old Anderson, having left huge pieces of my heart in Deutschland, not only because of the food or the places I’ll miss, but the people. If there’s one main thing I’ve learnt from the last 2.5 months, it’s that just because I leave doesn’t mean the relationships are over. No, I’m looking forward to walking even further with these new friends – even if I only get small glimpses of the rest of their journey from time to time now.

I carry your heart.

I carry your heart in my heart.

Love you all.

Editor's note: This entry was written earlier today but I was unable to get online to post it when I was sitting at Tegel Airport.

Fritzlar. And the Countdown Begins...

And so it's Saturday morning, and I find myself sitting in the Philips' dining room, having just had breakfast and now on to my second cup of coffee, listening to 陶喆, my favourite Chinese singer, and writing this. And the rest of today will be spent hanging out with Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall - some of my favourite people in the world, doing some painting for the Teenfreizeit (the annual teen camp for the Church of God in Germany) banner, and watching football, cheering on Deutschland in the 3rd-4th placing match tonight. Life can't get any better, right?

False. This all ends in 18 days and I'll be making my way back to the cornfields of good ol' Anderson, Indiana. I'll write more about this in a bit, but first let me tell you about my second adventure - to Fritzlar.

Fritzlar
So Fritzlar. It's a little German town southwest of Berlin, close to Wabern. It's a little bigger than Chesterfield, Indiana except it actually has its own downtown area that's like your cute little German town. I know we've talked about how much I love the big city, so you're probably wondering what brought me to Fritzlar.

Well, Fritzlar is where CB-F (Christliche Bildungsstätte Fritzlar) is located. This is the Bible school of the Church of God in Germany. I may or may not have mentioned this in an earlier entry, but a part of my internship in Berlin involves traveling around Germany, connecting with churches and pastors, and getting a better understanding of how what we're doing in Berlin fits into the greater context of the Church of God in Germany. My trips to Hannover and Pforzheim (and stopping briefly at Calw) made those connections with the pastors and churches. So Fritzlar was the piece that connected me with the ones in preparation for ministry, and Teenfreizeit in a little over a week would bring the connection with the younger generation of the Church of God.

So Fritzlar. It's a little Bible school that has a bit of a monastic feel to it. Birte, whom I had met a couple weeks ago when she was in Berlin, said there are currently about 18 students, and they basically live and have their classes in two buildings. One building houses the offices of the Bibel schule, the Klinners who are the ones currently giving oversight to the running of the school, the kitchen, dining room and community space, and on two separate floors, the single male and female students. For those of you who have paid your dues at Anderson University, this haus (building) reminds me a lot of Myers Hall. And in the other building that's owned by the church, there's the room where we've been watching all the football matches, and a few other community spaces. This is also where the classrooms and library are, as well as where the married couples live. Small setting, small school, so it's like Birte said, "we're all like a family."

So I arrived on Friday, and that evening we went out to the lake and had a game of volleyball. I was also "initiated" into the group with the Mate ritual, except it was cold lemonade instead of hot water. So much fun.

Saturday, of course, was the big game day. If I thought Berlin was crazy with the way they celebrated a football victory, I clearly hadn't been with the students at the Bibel schule. Families from the church came over to watch the game with us. Between the students, the kids and the black, red and yellow vuvuzelas, we were a riot. After the game was over, we walked up to the downtown area where the guys went crazy with their celebrations. As we were walking up, we were greeted by car after car honking and waving their black, red and yellow gear. One older couple had even made a sign that read, "Auf Wiedersehen! We cry for you, Argentina!" The battery for my camera had died by then or I would have taken a photo of it.

Sunday came around, and we went to the little chapel close to the school for church. That night, we also had a Bollywood party. A couple of the girls had just returned from spending some time in India and wanted to share that. Sunday was an interesting day for me because I was reminded again of how we who have spent some time living cross-culturally always have a strange knack finding each other even in a big crowd - and my "strange" interest for relating to people with stories like that.

That afternoon, I met Inthira for the first time. Inthira was born in Thailand to an Indian father and Burmese mother. After the tsunami hit in 2004, she lost everything. By some strange twist of fate, she and her sister somehow found a way to Germany. There she decided to give her life back to God by enrolling in the Bible school at Fritzlar. We chatted for a bit as we, together with Birte, Fabiano and Nabil made dinner together for our Bollywood party. I also got to practise a few words of Mandarin with her since she said she wants to start practising her Mandarin again as she's feeling called to China. If you know my call to ministry story, you're probably laughing because that same call to China was where this whole crazy journey started for me.

Then that night at dinner, I got to visit with Monica Klinner for a bit as well. Andrew Gale and Steve Rennick from Church at the Crossing in Indianapolis were there as guest teachers, and it was Fourth of July, Independence Day in the United States. So of course, I wished Andrew a happy Fourth, to which he got all excited because someone besides him and Steve remembered an American celebration. So he turned to Steve and said, "Here's another ... oh wait, you're not American..." To which of course I had to laugh because I was reminded again of my "Third-Culture-Kid"ness. So we then went over and wished Monica as well, who's American, but she's married to a German and had lived in Germany for so long that she sometimes forgets American celebrations as well.

Oh, I wish I had time to tell you all these stories, but I guess you just have to be there.

Hey, if you want to see pictures, you should click here

So the Countdown Begins...
And so it begins. Only 18 days left in this beautiful part of the world. Not that the other parts of the world I've been to are any less beautiful, but... you get the point.

I'm not about to get all melancholic about the last 2.5 months... At least, not yet. But my time here has been really good. Frustrating at times, nerve-wrecking at times, exciting at times. But in all, REALLY good.

Patrick, Jamie and Marco Nachtigall arrived in Berlin last night and I got to go meet them at the airport. As I manouevered my way around the city, I found myself being reminded - and surprised - of the fact that I've really only been here 2.5 months. I think anyone who knows me will probably expect me to come back different from when I left, but I think even I myself am surprised by who I've become in a short time.

Let me rephrase that. I don't think I've necessarily become a different person over the last couple of months. But I think I'm definitely finding more of myself - and how my personality of adapting easily to living cross-culturally means that I really don't conform to the molds of any mainstream culture.

I love the postmodern, post-Christian work we're doing in Berlin. But I also miss the traditional church.
I don't think I can live in Midwestern America very much longer because of its melting pot culture. But I will always defend my American "family" (that I can't completely claim to be my own either) when the bad misrepresentations of America rear their ugly heads.

And most importantly, I learnt that just because I don't completely fit in somewhere means that I should completely reject it or want to have anything to do with it. I would definitely feel a lot more comfortable in the postmodern, post-Christian world, but I still hold the traditional church with utmost respect.

So much, so much to process. But special thanks to Arthur, Armando, MaryAnn, Patrick and Jamie (and Marco) for long e-mails, asking questions, listening, poking and probing.

For Water...
Stumbled upon this verse out of our shared reading ...

"For whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because of your name as followers of Christ, truly I say to you, he will not lose his reward." - Mark 9:41

... and it made me think of each one of you who have "given me a cup of water to drink" regardless of whether or not you knew what I was doing, but simply out of knowing I was answering to my name as a follower of Christ. In these (unusually hot by Berlin's standard) summer days and living in a country that doesn't believe in air-conitioning, this whole "give you a cup of water to drink" idea took on a whole new meaning.

To each one of you who have given me a cup of water to drink so I can take one more step on this journey, thank you.

Love you all.

Life Since Urban Ministry Class...

So it's been almost a week since the group left after our Urban Ministry class ended. I guess it's time for me to start writing a little more frequently, huh? Most of this past week has just been living here and having more conversations about the team's strategic involvement in the life of the community of Kreuzberg where we live. Alright, I'm running ahead of myself.

Teenfreizeit Mitarbeiters Treffen (Teen Camp Staff Meeting)
There's a lot that we talk about in our ministry classes that we never fully understand until we've had the hands-on experience. Flexibility is one of those things.

Friday night, we were expecting a group of nine to come in for dinner. Everything had been set up for Abendbrot (Evening bread - that's cold-cut sandwiches. This is the German evening meal.) and at least Aaron and I were starving. But we had been waiting for the group to get here before we started eating. So when we found out that two of the nine weren't coming because they weren't feeling too good and the rest had been held up by transportation issues, we went ahead and started eating. Which might have been a good thing because the group of seven didn't get in till around 10 p.m. I felt bad for them because they were probably starving by then. And I'll have to admit that I was really relieved to not have to deal with an overdose of German that night. I really wanted to hang out with the group for a bit when they finally got in, but my head was throbbing, so it was Ibuprofen and bedtime.

Saturday was the killer. I was up early to help Rhonda get things set up for breakfast, so by the time the official day was over, I was completely wiped out. After breakfast, we cleaned up a little and got started with our meeting. If having to pay full attention and not doodle at all is difficult, trying to pay attention to someone whom you can probably only understand half of the words they're saying at most is a real pain. From time to time, as Kelley or Rhonda remembered, they would translate what was being said. My limited German vocab helped some, but that just took too much brain power. By the time the morning session was over, I was ready for a nap.

But the fact that it was sunny that day and we got to take a nice walk out to the park and had a grill party helped some. On the walk to the park, Cymin and I accidentally got split up from the rest of the group. Her pushing Zamira along slowed us down a little so we ended up behind the rest of the group (which was kinda funny because we ended up getting there before everyone else did anyway). Aaron speaks often of the importance of finding that commonality in our stories because these are the things that bring people together. Well Cymin's "salvation story" is very similar to my mum's, so we got to chatting about that. And I think the fact that we're both the artsy, musicion type also created a strange bond. In the language of the Na'vi (yes, Kelley, you're allowed to be proud that I'm speaking Avatar language), we "saw" each other.

There was something really unique that I noticed at the grill party. When we got there, Kelley and Adrian had already kind of set up the grill. The other guys headed toward the open space and started throwing a frisbee around. My natural inclination was to join them, until about fifteen minutes in, I realised 1) I wasn't really included unless the frisbee accidentally landed close to where I was, and 2) the other girls were all sitting down at our picnic area, either playing with babies or just trying to stay cool. I'm not a strong advocate against gender stereotypes or anything like that, but it was just an interesting thing to observe. Someone had once mentioned that the whole woman in ministry thing is still slightly controversial in the Church of God in Germany, so I kind of wonder if that had anything to do with it.

After we were done eating, Tillmann, the equivalent of the director of youth ministries of the Church of God in Germany gathered us together for our next session. This time, I said something to Tekle and Raffi about needing a translator, so between Kelley, Rhonda and the two of them, the translating was covered. It was just really frustrating to be that dependent on someone else even for something as simple as conversation. And it made me feel really powerless and discouraged. The question that kept going over and over in my head was, "What kind of a missionary are you going to be if you even need for the people you're living amongst to speak the language that you speak, rather than you actually learning their language and learning it well?" I think that discouragement, more than anything else, was what really wore me out that weekend.

After Abendbrot that evening, the group went out to one of the local hangouts to chill for a bit. I really wanted to go with them because I'd been feeling like I was really anti-social for not trying hard enough to talk to them and for constantly being so tired that weekend. I knew it wasn't completely my fault that I was that tired since my entire time in Berlin prior to their arrival had just been exhausting. But in some ways, I felt like I was being a terrible host even though it wasn't really my party either. So instead of going out with them, Christian and I stayed home with Kelley, Rhonda and the babies. And Christian and I watched Germany whoop Hungary in their friendly match that night. I'm really not a fan of German soccer, but there's something about cheering on the national team of the place you're living in because the people you're living with do actually care about their team. It's kind of like the same reason why I'm a Colts fan. Of course, the fact that they're a really good team helps - true also of the German national team. Hey, when in Rome... Right?

Sunday morning flew by fairly quickly. Ralf led Communion after breakfast and we went around the table, sharing about how we were doing and stuff like that - mostly just so we know where everyone is with life. We didn't really know each other very well then, but yet we were comfortable enough at that point to be honest about where we were in life. That was really refreshing for me.

Before long, the group was packing up and leaving. It was a little sad for me because I was just starting to connect with some of them. And the fact that I'm only going to be at Teenfreizeit for half the time because I'll be leaving to head back to the US right about the middle of it didn't really help. But... Well, such is my world now, I guess. Helps to be reminded from time to time it's not about what I miss out on when I leave, but what I get to be a part of where I'm going to. (Thank you to one of the wise voices in my life for that conversation last night).

After they left, Rhonda and I cleaned up some, started laundry then crashed for naps. We were all really exhausted from three long weeks and Kelley wasn't feeling too good the day before. But the way they both push through all their struggles to be hospitable to groups coming in is something I really admire.

Monday was kind of a lazy day. We talked about my budget and took care of some of the official business stuff in the morning. The rest of the day kind of just drifted by and in the evening, we headed over to Ralf and Cymin's for cheesecake and coffee. It was a nice day to just spend a bit of time with the same people, except there was no real business to take care of this time. It was just fun.

On the language issues...
So, backtrekking a bit. By the end of the weekend, I was exhausted and kind of frustrated and discouraged by the whole language barrier thing. Yes, most of the people at the Teenfreizeit meeting spoke enough English for me to communicate with them. But I was still really discouraged and almost felt like my being in Berlin was not going to bring much fruit in anyway. I guess God has this thing where he lets me sit in the box I put him and myself and for a while before poking me on the side and saying, "Hey lookie here - I was doing this while you were sitting in there trying to find me. Wanna join me over here where it's more fun?"

Kelley, Rhonda, Aaron and I went to look for the Asian store that Ralf told us about. We're doing a sushi party this Friday so we went to get some of the ingredients yesterday. Sure, the place is supposedly an Asian store, but I think we often forget that there are so many different definitions of Asian (like McDonald's version is sadly limited to sweet Thai chili sauce and mandarin oranges - which are not limited to Asia, it's just the mandarin makes people thing it's Asian. But that's just me talking - sorry, shutting up now). I didn't want to assume to guy running the place was Chinese even though everything about the store decor seemed to point toward that. So when I finally heard him speaking Mandarin to one of the other ladies in the store, I knew it was safe then.

As Kelley was checking out, I stood by the register, trying to think of something appropriate to say that wouldn't sound like I'm just blatantly saying, "Hey, I heard you talking - you speak Mandarin, we should talk." And mostly praying. Finally when he got done and we were heading out, I looked the guy in the eye and said, "Xie xie" (Thank you). Immediately you could see his whole face lighting up. "Ni shi Zhong Guo lai de ma?" (Are you from China?) So I explained I was from Singapore but my grandparents came from Guang Dong province. We made a bit more small talk, and finally as I was heading out, it was like there was this voice saying, "See now why you're here?"

The Turkish Market
This morning I took a little advenutre. Rhonda gave me directions to the Turkish market, so shortly after breakfast, I headed out to roam the streets of Berlin by myself.

How do I adequately describe the Turkish market? To the Singaporean audience reading this, think a cross between the wet market and a pasar malam. I got off the bus and headed in the general direction Rhonda told me to, and before long, the smells greeted me. As gross as the wet markets in Singapore smells, it is one of my favourite scents that I sometimes get homesick for. The smell of fish and other produce, vegetables and spices all mixed in together reminds me of the times when I would go marketing with Mum as a kid. Yes, I get melancholic about the strangest things, but we already covered that I'm weird, so you can throw that into the mix.

But other than the groceries, you also find the little knick-knacks, beads and sewing material, jewelry, scarves, clothes for people of all ages, shapes and sizes. It's just a fun place to walk up and down, and would be a great place to people-watch. And also, since my little moment of epiphany yesterday, I've also started paying more attention to the people around me. Not so much to single out the Mandarin-speakers so I can connect with them like that, but more to be curious about the stories of the people I meet in general. And not just mere curiosity, but actually striking up conversations with them.

Oh, just a few more on language...
So after the Turkish market, I stopped in at one of the little ecclectic stores on the street we live on. The lady running the shop said a few things to me in German, most of which I understood. Since I was in a shop, I had mentally pulled out the flashcards sorted under "vocab for shopping". So when she pulled a "Woher kommen Sie?" (Where are you from?) I did a double-take. I didn't pull the flashcards sorted under "vocab for introductions" quickly enough so that the blank look on my face would go away, so right away she switched to English. So we had a chat about how she could tell I understood what she was saying but I didn't know how to respond. And between my limited German and her limited English, I explained where I was from and I was studying in the US but I was in Berlin for my internship. Our conversation ended with her saying, "Have fun learning German!"

Just when I thought language was going to be a big barrier...

And because I can't communicate much, I'm also re-learning the power of prayer.

Looking Ahead...
And so here's kind of what the rest of my stay here will look like, at least as far as I know now.
Thursday, June 3: Errands with Philips + Aaron, Lunch at the Rathaus (cultural experience, according to Kelley and Aaron), back to the Asian store to get extra stuff for the sushi party and to hopefully have more conversation with the guy there.

Friday, June 4: Sushi party. Rhonda is inviting her Japanese friends, Aaron's going to try to invite some friends from language school, I think Mely is inviting her neighbour whose brother is working in China but is here to visit. And we're also going to try to invite the guy running the Asian store.

Saturday, June 5: S-Bahn excursion. Ralf has a book that tells where some of the more interesting S-Bahn (trains) stations are. We're going to check a few of those out, and they all have some friends they're hoping to invite.

Sunday, June 6: Grill party at the Havlicks. The Havlicks used to be neighbours with the Philips before they moved to Kreuzberg and the Havlicks to their new place. Even though they don't live in the same neighbourhood anymore, the relationship is still there, and Simone is one of the Mitarbeiters at Teenfreizeit. Their 12-year-old daughter, Renee is a sweetheart, and someone I'd really like to connect with.

Wednesday, June 9: Team meeting

Friday, June 11: World Cup kick off! Aaron and I, and probably Ralf and Adrian are going to watch the Mexico vs. S. Africa game somewhere.

Saturday, June 12: Quick visit to Hannover to hang out with Sieg and Amy.

Sunday, June 13: Church service at Sieg's church, Pre-game grill party, Germany plays at 20:30.

Sunday, June 20: Spanisch party with Mely's and Aaron's friends before Aaron leaves for the US

Tuesday, June 22: Aaron and Kelley leave for the US

Saturday, June 26: Rhonda and Christian leave for the US, possible visit to an old friend.

Friday, July 2: To Fritzlar

Wednesday, July 7: Return from Fritzlar

Friday, July 9: Nachtigalls arrive in Berlin

Sunday, July 11: Welcome dinner for the Nachtigalls

Wednesday, July 14: Philips' return from the US

Monday, July 19: Teenfreizeit prep days

Thursday, July 22: Teenfreizeit

Tuesday, July 27: Return to Berlin

Wednesday, July 28: Return to the US

Alright, I think that's all I have for tonight. I apologise that this is kind of a long one. I'll try to write more frequently so that they will be shorter blurbs rather than a long one like this.

Love you all, and thank you for your prayers, Facebook messages and e-mails. I'm trying to be better at writing back. Really, I am.