Happy Guy Fawkes Day

Happy Guy Fawkes Day, friends.

Tonight, Doug and Danette hosted a thank-you barbecue for the folks who helped out at the Holiday Programme. This get-together happened to coincide with Guy Fawkes day, a celebration of the day this guy, Guy, tried to blow up the parliament (at least, according to the few people who tried to explain it to me).

Kiwis celebrate Guy Fawkes day with fireworks. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the universal code for holidays is that if they aren't big enough to celebrate with a ton of food or fireworks, they aren't big enough of a deal.

The strange thing is, as I watched a bunch of the youths light the fireworks on the Beisleys' front porch, my mind drifted back to Fourth of July in St Helen's. I know I'm not a US citizen, but there's just something about how things become a tradition that transcends nationality or political boundaries. Kinda like how I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving with the American community here, or how the Chinese New Year steamboat reunion dinners became a tradition with the Chinese community in Anderson.

I've had a few interesting conversations recently about roots and what those mean. A big part of my story comes from having deep roots in many places, and having the permission to celebrate the traditions that come with those roots. As much as I try not to stick out in the dominant culture every time I move to a new place, I'm still not much of a conformist. Truth is, there are some things about tradition that I'm uber nerdy about.

Like, if I could go back in time, I would have convinced my dad to work with me more on my Chinese calligraphy, even if my siblings weren't interested.
Or contextualizing the Eucharist to today's society. Unleavened bread and wine? How 'bout pita bread and olive oil? (Thank you, Ralf Schwarz)
Or learning the proper native way to pronounce words in every new language/dialect I learn (I'm still working on the Kiwi English. Give it some time.)

Point being, I'm noticing again how much beauty I find in tradition. Sure, go ahead and be skeptical or cynical about everything we can possibly be skeptical or cynical about. But there still is a lot of beauty in tradition, if we can dig through all the cynicism to find it.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day, y'all. I don't know that this will become tradition in my story, but who's to say no?

Poop-flinging Monkeys

The title of this post is homage to Kelley and Aaron for all the randomness they've added to my life in the last month or so. For the full story, you'll have to ask me about it.

Sushi Party

Friday night was the sushi party. Other than the crashes that the international students at AU used to do, I don't think I've been to a house party as international as this. There were probably about 20 of us that night, but between us, we had Spanish-, Japanese-, English-, German-, French- and Mandarin-speakers.

A few of my favourite moments that evening:
1) When Mariko stepped in and started demonstrating and explaining how it's done. Let's be honest, I've done sushi parties in Singapore before, but they always end up messy but fun anyway. I was a little nervous about the whole party, so it was a big relief when Mariko decided to just step in. Come to find out later, it's actually unlike Mariko to step in to the center of a party like that. Well, it was a good thing regardless!

2) Jie Qiong and Rocio - new friends from China and Chile. At one point during the night, the three of us were talking, but there was no common language that the three of us completely understood. Jie Qiong had a little bit of English, so she understood what Rocio and I were saying to each other but she couldn't say much. I understood that little bit of Deutsch so when Rocio and Jie Qiong were talking, I couldn't say much either. And I got to practise my really rusty Mandarin with Jie Qiong. Come to find out she doesn't go out much because she doesn't speak much of the language. So we're going to hang out some while I'm here!

3) Christian's fantastic work of art. Yes, in that picture above, that's his own masterpiece. He doesn't like being in front of the camera though, hence the evil eye that he always gives me.

Excursion

Saturday morning, we loaded up the picnic baskets and headed to... somewhere. I have no idea where we ended up mostly because I just followed the group around after we got on the S-bahn. The sun was out and I think that was the highlight. Unfortunately, that also meant the sunbathers were out. If I had forgotten for a moment that I was in Europe, the sunbathers definitely let me know.

On the way back from our picnic, we encountered an interesting group of people. Speaking of the subcultures of Berlin, this group was definitely an interesting subculture. Bikes, mohawks in all colours, and bags and bags of alcohol... I'm not even sure which group they would belong to, but if you've seen Step Up 2, with the group of dancers "punk"-ing the train stations, that's what that group reminded me of. It was fascinating just to watch the people react as they got on the train. One lady turned the stroller her baby was in around so she her baby wasn't facing them. On the other hand, there was the one guy who offered a bottle to another. I couldn't figure out if the other guy was part of the group, but guy #1 who offered the bottle asked if he needed help opening the bottle. And guy #2 said no, he had a bottle opener that he wore on his thumb.

But that got me thinking. What if we "one-another"ed like that more in our Christ communities? How many more people will we draw?

What gave me hope that day though, was after the lady with the stroller left, Ralf come over and sit where she had been sitting. Not only was Samira's stroller facing them, Ralf also leaned over to make small talk with guy #1 who had offered the beer.

These are the people I get to work alongside.  Blessing #652? Yes, please.

Ok, that's all I'm writing for now. My brain is exhausted. I don't know if you can tell from just reading these entries, but I'm REALLY enjoying every moment of this. And I'm trying to take it all in and not start thinking about how little time I actually have here.

Oh, and here's what the weather's been like this weekend:

And today's entry was brought to you by:

Kelley, Aaron and the poop-flinging monkeys.

Love you all.

Life Since Urban Ministry Class...

So it's been almost a week since the group left after our Urban Ministry class ended. I guess it's time for me to start writing a little more frequently, huh? Most of this past week has just been living here and having more conversations about the team's strategic involvement in the life of the community of Kreuzberg where we live. Alright, I'm running ahead of myself.

Teenfreizeit Mitarbeiters Treffen (Teen Camp Staff Meeting)
There's a lot that we talk about in our ministry classes that we never fully understand until we've had the hands-on experience. Flexibility is one of those things.

Friday night, we were expecting a group of nine to come in for dinner. Everything had been set up for Abendbrot (Evening bread - that's cold-cut sandwiches. This is the German evening meal.) and at least Aaron and I were starving. But we had been waiting for the group to get here before we started eating. So when we found out that two of the nine weren't coming because they weren't feeling too good and the rest had been held up by transportation issues, we went ahead and started eating. Which might have been a good thing because the group of seven didn't get in till around 10 p.m. I felt bad for them because they were probably starving by then. And I'll have to admit that I was really relieved to not have to deal with an overdose of German that night. I really wanted to hang out with the group for a bit when they finally got in, but my head was throbbing, so it was Ibuprofen and bedtime.

Saturday was the killer. I was up early to help Rhonda get things set up for breakfast, so by the time the official day was over, I was completely wiped out. After breakfast, we cleaned up a little and got started with our meeting. If having to pay full attention and not doodle at all is difficult, trying to pay attention to someone whom you can probably only understand half of the words they're saying at most is a real pain. From time to time, as Kelley or Rhonda remembered, they would translate what was being said. My limited German vocab helped some, but that just took too much brain power. By the time the morning session was over, I was ready for a nap.

But the fact that it was sunny that day and we got to take a nice walk out to the park and had a grill party helped some. On the walk to the park, Cymin and I accidentally got split up from the rest of the group. Her pushing Zamira along slowed us down a little so we ended up behind the rest of the group (which was kinda funny because we ended up getting there before everyone else did anyway). Aaron speaks often of the importance of finding that commonality in our stories because these are the things that bring people together. Well Cymin's "salvation story" is very similar to my mum's, so we got to chatting about that. And I think the fact that we're both the artsy, musicion type also created a strange bond. In the language of the Na'vi (yes, Kelley, you're allowed to be proud that I'm speaking Avatar language), we "saw" each other.

There was something really unique that I noticed at the grill party. When we got there, Kelley and Adrian had already kind of set up the grill. The other guys headed toward the open space and started throwing a frisbee around. My natural inclination was to join them, until about fifteen minutes in, I realised 1) I wasn't really included unless the frisbee accidentally landed close to where I was, and 2) the other girls were all sitting down at our picnic area, either playing with babies or just trying to stay cool. I'm not a strong advocate against gender stereotypes or anything like that, but it was just an interesting thing to observe. Someone had once mentioned that the whole woman in ministry thing is still slightly controversial in the Church of God in Germany, so I kind of wonder if that had anything to do with it.

After we were done eating, Tillmann, the equivalent of the director of youth ministries of the Church of God in Germany gathered us together for our next session. This time, I said something to Tekle and Raffi about needing a translator, so between Kelley, Rhonda and the two of them, the translating was covered. It was just really frustrating to be that dependent on someone else even for something as simple as conversation. And it made me feel really powerless and discouraged. The question that kept going over and over in my head was, "What kind of a missionary are you going to be if you even need for the people you're living amongst to speak the language that you speak, rather than you actually learning their language and learning it well?" I think that discouragement, more than anything else, was what really wore me out that weekend.

After Abendbrot that evening, the group went out to one of the local hangouts to chill for a bit. I really wanted to go with them because I'd been feeling like I was really anti-social for not trying hard enough to talk to them and for constantly being so tired that weekend. I knew it wasn't completely my fault that I was that tired since my entire time in Berlin prior to their arrival had just been exhausting. But in some ways, I felt like I was being a terrible host even though it wasn't really my party either. So instead of going out with them, Christian and I stayed home with Kelley, Rhonda and the babies. And Christian and I watched Germany whoop Hungary in their friendly match that night. I'm really not a fan of German soccer, but there's something about cheering on the national team of the place you're living in because the people you're living with do actually care about their team. It's kind of like the same reason why I'm a Colts fan. Of course, the fact that they're a really good team helps - true also of the German national team. Hey, when in Rome... Right?

Sunday morning flew by fairly quickly. Ralf led Communion after breakfast and we went around the table, sharing about how we were doing and stuff like that - mostly just so we know where everyone is with life. We didn't really know each other very well then, but yet we were comfortable enough at that point to be honest about where we were in life. That was really refreshing for me.

Before long, the group was packing up and leaving. It was a little sad for me because I was just starting to connect with some of them. And the fact that I'm only going to be at Teenfreizeit for half the time because I'll be leaving to head back to the US right about the middle of it didn't really help. But... Well, such is my world now, I guess. Helps to be reminded from time to time it's not about what I miss out on when I leave, but what I get to be a part of where I'm going to. (Thank you to one of the wise voices in my life for that conversation last night).

After they left, Rhonda and I cleaned up some, started laundry then crashed for naps. We were all really exhausted from three long weeks and Kelley wasn't feeling too good the day before. But the way they both push through all their struggles to be hospitable to groups coming in is something I really admire.

Monday was kind of a lazy day. We talked about my budget and took care of some of the official business stuff in the morning. The rest of the day kind of just drifted by and in the evening, we headed over to Ralf and Cymin's for cheesecake and coffee. It was a nice day to just spend a bit of time with the same people, except there was no real business to take care of this time. It was just fun.

On the language issues...
So, backtrekking a bit. By the end of the weekend, I was exhausted and kind of frustrated and discouraged by the whole language barrier thing. Yes, most of the people at the Teenfreizeit meeting spoke enough English for me to communicate with them. But I was still really discouraged and almost felt like my being in Berlin was not going to bring much fruit in anyway. I guess God has this thing where he lets me sit in the box I put him and myself and for a while before poking me on the side and saying, "Hey lookie here - I was doing this while you were sitting in there trying to find me. Wanna join me over here where it's more fun?"

Kelley, Rhonda, Aaron and I went to look for the Asian store that Ralf told us about. We're doing a sushi party this Friday so we went to get some of the ingredients yesterday. Sure, the place is supposedly an Asian store, but I think we often forget that there are so many different definitions of Asian (like McDonald's version is sadly limited to sweet Thai chili sauce and mandarin oranges - which are not limited to Asia, it's just the mandarin makes people thing it's Asian. But that's just me talking - sorry, shutting up now). I didn't want to assume to guy running the place was Chinese even though everything about the store decor seemed to point toward that. So when I finally heard him speaking Mandarin to one of the other ladies in the store, I knew it was safe then.

As Kelley was checking out, I stood by the register, trying to think of something appropriate to say that wouldn't sound like I'm just blatantly saying, "Hey, I heard you talking - you speak Mandarin, we should talk." And mostly praying. Finally when he got done and we were heading out, I looked the guy in the eye and said, "Xie xie" (Thank you). Immediately you could see his whole face lighting up. "Ni shi Zhong Guo lai de ma?" (Are you from China?) So I explained I was from Singapore but my grandparents came from Guang Dong province. We made a bit more small talk, and finally as I was heading out, it was like there was this voice saying, "See now why you're here?"

The Turkish Market
This morning I took a little advenutre. Rhonda gave me directions to the Turkish market, so shortly after breakfast, I headed out to roam the streets of Berlin by myself.

How do I adequately describe the Turkish market? To the Singaporean audience reading this, think a cross between the wet market and a pasar malam. I got off the bus and headed in the general direction Rhonda told me to, and before long, the smells greeted me. As gross as the wet markets in Singapore smells, it is one of my favourite scents that I sometimes get homesick for. The smell of fish and other produce, vegetables and spices all mixed in together reminds me of the times when I would go marketing with Mum as a kid. Yes, I get melancholic about the strangest things, but we already covered that I'm weird, so you can throw that into the mix.

But other than the groceries, you also find the little knick-knacks, beads and sewing material, jewelry, scarves, clothes for people of all ages, shapes and sizes. It's just a fun place to walk up and down, and would be a great place to people-watch. And also, since my little moment of epiphany yesterday, I've also started paying more attention to the people around me. Not so much to single out the Mandarin-speakers so I can connect with them like that, but more to be curious about the stories of the people I meet in general. And not just mere curiosity, but actually striking up conversations with them.

Oh, just a few more on language...
So after the Turkish market, I stopped in at one of the little ecclectic stores on the street we live on. The lady running the shop said a few things to me in German, most of which I understood. Since I was in a shop, I had mentally pulled out the flashcards sorted under "vocab for shopping". So when she pulled a "Woher kommen Sie?" (Where are you from?) I did a double-take. I didn't pull the flashcards sorted under "vocab for introductions" quickly enough so that the blank look on my face would go away, so right away she switched to English. So we had a chat about how she could tell I understood what she was saying but I didn't know how to respond. And between my limited German and her limited English, I explained where I was from and I was studying in the US but I was in Berlin for my internship. Our conversation ended with her saying, "Have fun learning German!"

Just when I thought language was going to be a big barrier...

And because I can't communicate much, I'm also re-learning the power of prayer.

Looking Ahead...
And so here's kind of what the rest of my stay here will look like, at least as far as I know now.
Thursday, June 3: Errands with Philips + Aaron, Lunch at the Rathaus (cultural experience, according to Kelley and Aaron), back to the Asian store to get extra stuff for the sushi party and to hopefully have more conversation with the guy there.

Friday, June 4: Sushi party. Rhonda is inviting her Japanese friends, Aaron's going to try to invite some friends from language school, I think Mely is inviting her neighbour whose brother is working in China but is here to visit. And we're also going to try to invite the guy running the Asian store.

Saturday, June 5: S-Bahn excursion. Ralf has a book that tells where some of the more interesting S-Bahn (trains) stations are. We're going to check a few of those out, and they all have some friends they're hoping to invite.

Sunday, June 6: Grill party at the Havlicks. The Havlicks used to be neighbours with the Philips before they moved to Kreuzberg and the Havlicks to their new place. Even though they don't live in the same neighbourhood anymore, the relationship is still there, and Simone is one of the Mitarbeiters at Teenfreizeit. Their 12-year-old daughter, Renee is a sweetheart, and someone I'd really like to connect with.

Wednesday, June 9: Team meeting

Friday, June 11: World Cup kick off! Aaron and I, and probably Ralf and Adrian are going to watch the Mexico vs. S. Africa game somewhere.

Saturday, June 12: Quick visit to Hannover to hang out with Sieg and Amy.

Sunday, June 13: Church service at Sieg's church, Pre-game grill party, Germany plays at 20:30.

Sunday, June 20: Spanisch party with Mely's and Aaron's friends before Aaron leaves for the US

Tuesday, June 22: Aaron and Kelley leave for the US

Saturday, June 26: Rhonda and Christian leave for the US, possible visit to an old friend.

Friday, July 2: To Fritzlar

Wednesday, July 7: Return from Fritzlar

Friday, July 9: Nachtigalls arrive in Berlin

Sunday, July 11: Welcome dinner for the Nachtigalls

Wednesday, July 14: Philips' return from the US

Monday, July 19: Teenfreizeit prep days

Thursday, July 22: Teenfreizeit

Tuesday, July 27: Return to Berlin

Wednesday, July 28: Return to the US

Alright, I think that's all I have for tonight. I apologise that this is kind of a long one. I'll try to write more frequently so that they will be shorter blurbs rather than a long one like this.

Love you all, and thank you for your prayers, Facebook messages and e-mails. I'm trying to be better at writing back. Really, I am.

Brooklyn, New York

This past week was Spring Break at Anderson University. A friend of mine at the seminary had asked me earlier in the year if I would co-lead a Tri-S missions trip to New York with him, so of course I said yes. Anytime I get to go to a new place with people, I'm definitely up for it - and especially if it involved going there with a purpose more than just vacation.

So anyway, New York. The big city. Sadly, I wasn't as impressed with it as I thought I would be. I guess a part of it is that with all the hype you see on TV, all the glitz and glamour, my expectations for the big city were let down just a little bit. And I guess also having grown up in the big city myself, even THE Big City was just another city.

Having said that, the trip was still great. We went with an organization called Center for Student Missions (CSM) that basically hosted us and made all the arrangements for us to visit several different ministry sites in the city. For three days, we travelled around Brooklyn, Manhattan, the Bronx and Harlem serving for a few hours at each of these ministry sites. If you're looking for an organization where your group can really plug into and serve on a more long-term, consistent basis, CSM is not what you're looking for. But for an introduction to urban ministry and homelessness, definitely go with CSM. They have a great program that includes a prayer walk/tour of the city that starts your entire week off with you seeing some of the different faces of the city and what you will be dealing with.

Probably the highlight of my week was seeing the group come together and watching the lightbulbs go off in their heads. Since this wasn't my first urban ministry experience, I'll 'fess up to being slightly frustrated at the little amount of time we got to spend at each of the sites we were at. But each night as we debriefed with the group and I was forced to answer questions like my highs and lows of the day, I had to reflect on the positives as well, which worked out really well. And as I heard about each of their reflections on thoughts, I was caught off-guard by how cynical and pessimistic I had gotten since my first urban ministry experience with Church on the Street in Atlanta. Being with the group this week restored some of the hopefulness in my own journey, and I think that will really help before I plunge into Berlin.

And probably the one thing that really frustrated me and is making me want to do something about is language - or my lack of it. There were a few occasions where either a better command of the Cantonese dialect or the ability to say more than "Dios le Bendiga" would have come in really handy. I've forgotten how much I take language for granted. And even though Arthur told me I didn't have to learn German to get around in Berlin, I'm realising that I really do want to be able to say more than "Guten Tag!" when I get there.

Something else that struck me was our group's concern with homelessness and the apathy of the more affluent city-dwellers towards that problem. Perhaps it's because I've been challenged to explain the idea of Gateway Berlin, my eyes were more open to the flip-side of the urban problem, this ugly word called apathy. Forgive me if I sound less than tolerant - I really don't mean to - but the homeless have shelters that feed them both physically and spiritually. And they have missions groups coming in to talk to them and walk with them. But what about the ones who are physically affluent but spiritually empty? Are our hearts broken for them as well, or do we judge them through our "better than you because I'm serving and you're apathetic" lenses?

Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause