Oh, don't get me wrong. Life was anything but a bed of roses during that season. But I learnt a lot from that season mostly because I had an incredible group of people to journey with.
See, when I was first starting seminary, I had made a deal with my parents that we would do whatever we could to get me through school without having to take out a loan. Which meant I needed to work. A lot.
Thankfully, through some strange connections (mostly just being at the right place at the right time), I managed to get a ministry job that understood I would be going back to school after my first year of working there full-time, and they allowed me the flexibility of working part-time during the school year. The full-time hours during the summer was supposed to pay for school, but there would be nights that I would be crunching numbers and it still wouldn't add up to being enough. And then the next day at work, I would be quietly fretting about the financial situation, and Ryan Chapman, this gentleman who works down the hallway from me would randomly come up to my desk quietly with a $20 note in hand. "Seminary textbooks are expensive, and I know this isn't a lot. But I hope it helps pay for at least part of a textbook."
And I would sit there with tears streaming down my face. Maybe it wasn't a lot, but the symbolic gesture (that happened on about two or three different occasions, and always the day after I'm fretting about money again -- maybe it wasn't so random after all) was the reminder I needed that God had promised to provide. True to form, I finished seminary without any debt.
Why am I bringing this up now?Well, I just got another $20 note in the mail from a dear friend in the States. It was accompanied with a beautiful note:
Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, but lately the money thing has been a big issue all over again. Money hasn't been coming in for my salary because I am too far away from my main financial supporters to really fundraise. I had been writing letters and trying to come up with creative ways to raise the money all while trying to juggle figuring out this new season of ministry at the same time. Truth be told, I was starting to wonder if the reality that no money was coming in meant I was crazy (let's be honest, I'm gaining a reputation for doing the crazy) for even thinking this ministry made any sense. Because if it did, why did it seem like nobody else was buying into it except me?
And then a few weeks ago, I had reached the point where my savings was depleted and thanks to a bit of car trouble, was left with about $20 to my name. While I don't usually talk about my money situation, it somehow came up in my conversation with Emily. When she found out, she contacted one of her major supporting churches that she knew had emergency funds set aside for situations like these.
I should have known that Emily was cut from the same mold of theological and spiritual formation that so changed my worldview.
You see, back in our seminary days, we journeyed with a group of friends who truly taught us how to live in community. There was little that wasn't shared between us. We had pitch-in dinners about once a week or so to make sure everyone was fed. Because I was one of the few who had a steady income that was more than minimum wage, I pitched my share to pay for the more costly ingredients for the meal. Amity often fed us from her garden and sometimes when they had a surplus, the canned tomatoes or soups would get shared all around. And Tim changed my oil for free so I didn't have to pay for labour to get it done at a shop.
Perhaps because we all knew that most of us weren't going in to ministry for the fame or fortune, we felt a sense of responsibility to take care of each other in whatever way we could. After all, we all understood the reality that everything we have belongs to the kingdom anyway.
Well, going back to that $20 note...
About two weeks ago, I had scheduled a lunch meeting with a student. I knew that there was money coming from Emily's supporting church, but because of the international transfers and stuff, I hadn't received it yet. So I drove into the city to meet the student with the $20 I had left and the bit of spare change I set aside for parking (city parking costs $3/hour for the first two hours, then $6/hour for every hour after -- Auckland is expensive). I had a bit of trouble finding the cafe where I was supposed to meet the student and was running a few minutes late. I knew he only had a short lunch break, so I was getting a bit flustered when I finally found him. Before I fully comprehended what I was doing, I had offered to shout him lunch.
Right as the words came out of my mouth, I found myself thinking, "Are you out of your mind?? This is your last $20 for a little while. Sure, your fridge is stocked and your gas tank is full at the moment, but who knows how long it will take before the money finally gets through."
But then I remembered the words one of my former youth leaders from my church in Singapore used to say when he took us out for lunch after worship team practise and would shout our drinks.
"Consider this an investment into the next generation."
Ok. Alright. Besides, it was too late to take the words back now.
Thankfully, that last $20 was just enough to pay for both our lunches. As we wrapped up the meeting, the student thanked me for lunch and said, "Honestly, I was only planning to get a drink when we met because I didn't really have the money for a meal." But this is your lunch break, right? "Yeah, but I don't always eat lunch."
Well, everything we have belongs in the Kingdom anyway. I was glad my last $20 paid for both our lunches.
Which was why when I opened the card from Emily and found another $20 note in it, I had to fight back the tears. You see, Emily is fundraising herself. She lives in the basement of the pastors' home on Pine Ridge reservation (together with all the workcampers that come in for workcamp season) while raising funds for her home and the community building to be built on the reservation. And yet, not only did she take the time to send the beautiful card, but she also gave that $20 note that was to be my reminder that God had promised to provide. And Emily has reminded me time and again that as long as we are being faithful to our call to being missionaries, it is ok to rely on the financial gifts from others. In fact, she wrote this beautiful piece on fundraising.
And so tonight, I just would like to say a big thank you to the beautiful people who have given the gifts that allow me to keep on giving.
To the good people at Germantown First Church of God, thank you.
To the good people who have offered me a place to stay while we wait for funds to trickle in, thank you.
To the good people at the national Church of God in New Zealand who purchased the vehicle for the ministry, thank you.
To the good people with gifts big and small over the last three years, thank you.
To the good people with your $20 notes, thank you.
You are beautiful, beautiful people.
Thank you. With all my heart.
Arohanui
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