Thinking Aloud...

This week, I reconnected with some of the friends I mentioned in a previous entry. And I realised something. The fun for me isn't so much about seeing them again as much as it is about the excitement of the privilege to walk another small part of the journey with them.

Ruth
So let me tell you a bit more about Ruth and my experience at a dentist in Germany. I didn't think a visit to the dentist was going to be on my agenda while I'm here in Berlin, but it kind of turned out that way. What had started as a toothache about a month before I left for Germany became quite an incident requiring a root canal because 1) I didn't want to deal with American dentists yet, and 2) I thought I'd wait till after I'm back in Anderson before I took care of it.

So anyway, Ruth told us of her dentist and said she would go with me and act as my translator. I don't know if I mentioned this in my previous entry, but Ruth is just a fascinating lady. She's well in her 60s but is as free-spirited as it gets, and had worked as a tour-guide in Spain and England where she learnt on the job to speak Spanish and English. We got to the dentist, and I think she was a lot more excited and nervous about what needed to be done than I was. And she was almost in complete awe of how gentle and careful the dentist was and how nice she was when we talked about how we were going to settle the bill since I had to have money wired over. These were all things I appreciated, but seeing all the emotions played out through her was an interesting experience at least for me.

But mostly, it was just a joy to be spending time with her and hearing her stories. If you've ever met Ruth, you would know that you probably will never be able to guess some of the experiences she has had in her life. But at the same time, because you know her, you aren't exactly surprised. Like just yesterday, she brought me to the cemetary where the Grimm Brothers are buried. (Yes, that's right here in Kreuzberg.)
Or like, as a 12-year-old, she had wanted to start her own girl band but because she was well-ahead of her time, there wasn't enough interest amongst her peers so she dropped it.

So instead, she came over tonight and tried playing Rock Band with Christian instead. And watched Deutschland play Ghana. And of course, brought us a bowl of cherries that she bought from her friend Rita. I really don't have the words to describe her, but I guess you just have to meet her.

Justin
And then today, I ran into Justin again at the same cafe. He looked a lot happier today - more hopeful, perhaps. When we left him a couple weeks ago, I remembered him saying he was looking to get some help for his drug-addiction, but he sounded really hesitant.

Today he got to the cafe not too long after Rhonda and I got there. Rhonda was back making sandwiches and I was just hanging out when he walked in. We exchanged a quick hello and I noticed he had a little sandwich bag this time. He pulled out two rolls and start making sandwiches too. I guess I was puzzled because of the few times I've ran into him at the cafe, I had never seen him eat.

But after a while, he came and sat with us and we chatted for a bit. He's since gotten connected with a "social worker" whom he knew fairly well from a few years back who was a few years older than him. He described her as a lady he knew he could trust. He's since found housing with four other people in a "project" that was going to hopefully help him stay strong and get help. And he has a doctor's appointment tomorrow to see if they can get him off his addictions.

For me, it wasn't so much hearing that he's doing well now. No, it was the very faint glimmer in his eyes that he had found hope. And it made my heart REALLY happy when Patricia, one of the workers at the cafe was joking around with him about how he needed to pay attention to "girl-talk" because someday he might get married and he'll need to know those things.

Hope. So much hope. The story hasn't ended yet.

Gretchen
I was so happy to run into Gretchen at the cafe today. When I stopped in last Friday, Krissie, one of the workers at the cafe told me that I had JUST missed her in her splendous Deutschland outfit of a black top, red skirt and golden shoes. That was the day Deutschland lost to Serbia, and Gretchen had been all-decked out and ready to cheer on her country.

She didn't have her Deutschland colours on today, so of course I had to give her a hard time about it. But then we got to talking and I found out that she's an amazing cook and she enjoys baking and crafts and all the artsy-fartsy stuff that speaks my language. So I told her maybe the next time I run into her again she can share some of her recipes.


I've been thinking a lot these few days about all these new friends that I've made. I guess a part of it is that Kelley and Aaron left yesterday to go back to the US, and it was almost like an indicator that this season of such close interaction with these people that I've come to really know and love will soon come to an end.

Something else I've realised over the last few days. Before this past month, I've often objectified people as projects more than I've really been willing to see them for what or who they are. How many can I take care of in a given period of time so I can feel a sense of accomplishment about myself? Have I tackled enough projects to rack up a good tally to reflect my productivity?

But really, how helpful are numbers and statistics in truly reflecting productivity? Back at my office job, I could probably have answered a ton of phone-calls or e-mails, but never really know any of the people that I'm corresponding with. I could chalk up points for the number of mailings I get done or the number of missionaries I pray for, but still never really know them. Productive for an office job, I guess, but that's not quality... Not for me anyway.

And having spent the little time I've had with some of my new friends, and realising how intentional I have to be about going back to the cafe (and who knows if I'll even run into them again), I've come to realise that they are my friends. And not just projects that I can try to help in one way or another. Learning their stories one small chapter at a time makes it hard for me to just put a number on them as project #524 that I've taken care of for the day. And no, I will not let anyone reduce these friendships to a number or a statistic because they are more than numbers or statistics. They are my friends.

And to be honest, I'm really going to hate leaving here. I know these 3 months will be a lot more like a vacation deal than like real life when the "honeymoon" wears off and the annoyances set in. But at the same time, I REALLY love it here. And it's not just because Berlin is a more exciting city to live in than Anderson (even though that IS true). Everything here seems to be speaking my language (well, except for the Deutsch, but we can work around that). The people I've gotten to work with stand for everything that I believe in - and even the agreeing to talk things out and fight it out.

I've also been giving some thought to not going back to Anderson to finish seminary. I would like to stay in Berlin, but that's not the only reason I'm thinking about not returning to Anderson. Don't get me wrong, I realise the importance of higher education, but I'm also starting to wonder if seminary is for me. I love the community in Anderson. I love most of the classes I've been in. But let's be honest... I have a bit too much ADD artsy-fartsyness in me to really settle down and be academic.

At the same time, I'm also trying to listen and figure out if this is just me trying to run away, or just having an overly-romanticised idea of what it means to not live in Anderson. Hey, if you're the praying type, will you say a prayer for me?

Alright, it's getting late and there's much to do tomorrow. Congratulations to Uruguay, Mexico, Argentina, S Korea, USA, England, Germany and Ghana - and all your fans - for moving on to the next round.

Love you all.