Dear Keren,
"The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love, the more pain its loss will bring. These are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings. If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt, despair and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope and love."
- A Hidden Wholeness, Parker Palmer
"I pray through the doubt, despair and pain you will know more fully faith, hope and love."
Those were the words Melissa, one of our favourite people, left as my graduation gift. Between her wisdom, and her allowing us to take random awkward photos of ourselves in her apartment that summer, it's hard to not like her huh? She was one of the people who, like you, gave me space to find/redefine "home".
Emi and I have been talking a lot about dreams. Not just the ones that we have when we fall asleep (the ones that creep us out because they eventually manifest true in real life), but also dreaming up big things that could happen. On a few occasions, I found myself saying, "Emi, if you make this happen, I will consider moving back to Anderson after this next chapter is done."
Crazy, right?
But the thing is, some of these big dreams are the same dreams I've had four years ago as I was getting ready to leave the safety of undergrad AU life. Three simple but crazy dreams. You and I, we talked about it, and as hard as I try to recall, I don't remember how you reacted when I told you one of those crazy dreams included being homeless for a month or so, just to experience what it's like. I remembered most people trying to either talk me out of it or play it safe. But if we just played it safe, then it defeats the purpose, right?
As it turns out, I never had the guts to actually pull off the being homeless thing. Nor did I ever pursue any of the other two things that I dreamt of doing Yet four years later, here we are with these dreams resurfacing again.
Some days I wonder what it would be like if you were here now. Where will you be living, and what would you be doing? Back then we used to dream about doing the things that would help us find more of who we are so that we can do those things even better. All these years later, here I am again with those dreams coming closer to fulfillment, yet the fear of failure is still so apparent.
"I pray through the doubt, despair and pain you will know more fully faith, hope and love."
Maybe that should be enough...?
Miss you,
Me
"The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love, the more pain its loss will bring. These are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings. If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt, despair and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope and love."
- A Hidden Wholeness, Parker Palmer
"I pray through the doubt, despair and pain you will know more fully faith, hope and love."
Those were the words Melissa, one of our favourite people, left as my graduation gift. Between her wisdom, and her allowing us to take random awkward photos of ourselves in her apartment that summer, it's hard to not like her huh? She was one of the people who, like you, gave me space to find/redefine "home".
Emi and I have been talking a lot about dreams. Not just the ones that we have when we fall asleep (the ones that creep us out because they eventually manifest true in real life), but also dreaming up big things that could happen. On a few occasions, I found myself saying, "Emi, if you make this happen, I will consider moving back to Anderson after this next chapter is done."
Crazy, right?
But the thing is, some of these big dreams are the same dreams I've had four years ago as I was getting ready to leave the safety of undergrad AU life. Three simple but crazy dreams. You and I, we talked about it, and as hard as I try to recall, I don't remember how you reacted when I told you one of those crazy dreams included being homeless for a month or so, just to experience what it's like. I remembered most people trying to either talk me out of it or play it safe. But if we just played it safe, then it defeats the purpose, right?
As it turns out, I never had the guts to actually pull off the being homeless thing. Nor did I ever pursue any of the other two things that I dreamt of doing Yet four years later, here we are with these dreams resurfacing again.
Some days I wonder what it would be like if you were here now. Where will you be living, and what would you be doing? Back then we used to dream about doing the things that would help us find more of who we are so that we can do those things even better. All these years later, here I am again with those dreams coming closer to fulfillment, yet the fear of failure is still so apparent.
"I pray through the doubt, despair and pain you will know more fully faith, hope and love."
Maybe that should be enough...?
Miss you,
Me
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