时间会冲淡一切 (Time Will Dilute All Things)

The Chinese saying goes, 时间会冲淡一切, or "time will dilute all things".

It's hard to believe so much time has passed and the tear glands still act up every time that episode gets brought up.

Today I realised I'm struggling to regain my ability to trust that relationships I've given myself to will come through for me.

                            They told me
once upon a time,
                                              if you
            give
                  yourself
               to relationships,
       there comes a time
                      when there's enough trust
            built
that you can depend on those
                                    relationships.

Then you tried to tell me they were wrong.
                               2.5 years wasn't enough...

时间会冲淡一切

I wasn't going to ask for any more favours
           I just wanted to
                    know
               if we could still be
friends.

It didn't hurt because you couldn't help.
or didn't want to, but... technicalities.

It hurt because you didn't want to talk.

时间会冲淡一切

I haven't stopped loving you
I can't stop loving you
You're still family even if my passport tries to tell you otherwise.
I still love you.
I wouldn't be here otherwise.

Today I sat and wept.
They said 时间会冲淡一切
I wish time would hurry up and dilute all this pain from that episode.

It was trivial.
Right?
So why this pain?

The on-lookers are saying that wasn't fair.
But life isn't fair
If it was, there would be a whole lot less suffering in the world.


All those years you've preached at me to not walk the journey alone.
Yet when it became time you said, "We'll walk with you while you're here but we can't do anything once you leave here."


I'm dare not ask for fairness.
But Lord help me, my trust issues from the dark ages threaten to return.

"I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in You through our word; that we may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Jesus and He in You, that we also may be in You, so that the world may believe that You sent Him." - John 17:20-21


时间会冲淡一切
I hope one day we can look back with a smile and say, that wasn't pretty, but it was ok.

"That we may all be one..."

Thank you for the "other" voices from that episode, and the reminder that in spite of the crappy hand I've been dealt, I still had/have quality people in my life.