Today

Today

Today a brief note from The Big Death flew in through the window
Today my blood boiled

You killed a part of me

Today

Today I went and sat outside
Today I stared into emptiness

You had more strength, less heart

Today

Today I lamented and wept
Today I ached for depth and authenticity

You didn't know

Today

Today I fell into the arms of community that loves and carries me
Today they kicked me in the behind and said, you're letting THIS get you down?

You can't stop me

Today

Today I put my bare hands to the shattered pieces from The Big Death and slowly sweep them up
Today I allow myself to feel that pain all over again as they pierce my fingers

You can't stop me

Today I'll write stories again
Today I'll feel again

You can't stop me

Today I'll be vulnerable again
Today I'll trust wholeheartedly again

You can't stop me

Today I'll learn to love you again.

Not because I want to. Not at this moment, I really don't
But because you're family, I'll learn to love you until it comes naturally again.

And no, this time, you can't stop me.
Because the tsunami of Agape has more weight than human boundaries and social structures.

Today I'll choose to love you.
And no, you can't stop me.

Today.
And everyday.