"Rhythmus" Part 2 - Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done

"Rhythmus," he said, with that familiar whimsical look--the one he got whenever a cheeky or brilliant idea was starting to take shape in his head.

I stared at him blankly.

"Rhythmus," he said again. "It's the spiritual rhythm that binds our community here. We don't do the traditional church model, but we still have this rhythm that keeps our group together. It's a rhythm that keeps us eating together, praying together and studying the Word together."

His words were starting to make a bit of sense, but I wondered if the mix of English and German I've had to function with had affected my ability to understand simple English as Kelley, Aaron and I sat at the dining table trying to piece together the website for the XZBerlin community.

Never mind that I had seen it lived out amongst the team members. That kind of taking care of one another, that intentional fellowship and study... I didn't fully understand the rhythm.

Then one day a few weeks back, I got an e-mail from Joe. Joe and I are better friends on Twitter than e-mail, so I was slightly surprised to get an e-mail from him. He mentioned something about Lent, the journey in the wilderness, the desert experiences, and finding sabbath and a spiritual rhythm.

It was an invitation to a group of friends--a community scattered across the US and here in Auckland--to join in a spiritual rhythm where we, and anyone else whom we knew were keen to join, prayed together, morning and evening, for Kingdom come, for ourselves and for each other. These weren't meant to be intense spiritual times as much as rhythm markers for the day. So we all, scattered across three time zones around the globe, prayed together at 7:30am and 6pm each day wherever we were.

The first day, as I started saying the words, "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name..." I was swept back to that Blue Church in Berlin, where together we chorused the words in German.

Suddenly I became aware that "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done," meant something far bigger than the simple words I was whispering in my bedroom in Auckland. Because friends in Indiana, Michigan, Ohio and Oklahoma were whispering these same words. The same words people in Germany and all around the world had been whispering throughout ages past. The same words that were whispered at the Pasifika festival only a few weeks later.

Suddenly Rhythmus became much bigger than that website discussion around the Philips' dining table in Berlin.
Suddenly Rhythmus included the friends that sent me the delightful care package only a few months ago when I was in desperate need for a sabbath, without realising I had a sabbath trip planned.
Suddenly Rhythmus included a global family whispering the words together, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done."

This past week has been one of the more emotionally exhausting ones. There were a couple of very victorious moments, peppered with a couple of very heartbreaking ones, with a side of an answered prayer and one of the most unexpectedly difficult and painful conversations I've had to have in a while.

When it started, I found myself leaning into the prayers of this scattered community, holding on to "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done" like never before.
And then in the middle of it all, I was reminded of promises I made when I first started this chapter in Auckland, and the peace that carried me through because I kept my promises.
And then in the middle of what was about to turn out to be another very difficult day, I heard the words again, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done"--and from a voice I least expected.

Most who read this blog know that I prefer to let my thoughts simmer for a while before I paint them on the screen so they don't come out ill-intentioned, hurtful or in manners I regret later. Part 2 of this Rhythmus series had been simmering for a while, and I had hoped for a beautiful, happy-ever-after type of ra-ra, celebrate the Rhythm hype.

But tonight, it's 11:44pm as I write this--later than my usual bedtime since I started the 7:30ams. And there's no beautiful, happy-ever-after type of ra-ra hype. Instead, there are tears of release, a very raw sense of pain, and a deep peace and hope in holding on to "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done."

This Lent, I've journeyed the wilderness through some oasis and some very dusty, thorny roads. I've endured the 6:30am alarms, snoozing a bagillion times so I can finally be awake to pray at 7:30am. I've wondered if I was the right person to have gotten thrown into some of the sandstorms because I never felt strong enough. I've learnt to lean into a community that is scattered like the Israelites in exile, and feeling the whispered prayers as we walked our own wilderness in this bigger rhythmus of "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done."

The dust of the wilderness will settle, and we will usher in the coming King with our Hosannas--the King whose Kingdom will reign forever and these seasons of wilderness and exile will be no more. But until then, I will lean into "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done," and the hopeful glimpses of Easter and the empty tomb.


In case you're interested in joining in the spiritual rhythm, here's what it looks like:
At 2 times each day (7:30 a.m. and 6:00 p.m.), everyone involved would commit to the following:
1. Praying the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13)
2. Praying the Jesus Creed (Mark 12:29–31)
3. Praying briefly for the people who they know who are involved
4a. In the morning, praying that God would keep them from evil and temptation and thanking God for his provision.
4b. In the evening, confessing any areas where they recall that they sinned and thanking God for his forgiveness.
We are encouraging people to invite others along and don't expect that everyone will even know of all the people who are involved. But the idea is to stay connected to something bigger, so please let me know (by simply leaving your name in the comments below--and location, if you've stumbled upon this space by accident) if you'd like to be a part so I can include you as I pray.

A Child Named Hope

There once lived these two little girls
They called one of them I
The other, they called Hope
They were best friends growing up

I was always lost in some deep thought
She was not one to settle for easy answers
The grown-ups always told her
Hope had all the answers
"If you would only listen to her"

Trouble was,
The grown-ups may have been right about Hope
But Hope also knew
I had to wrestle with the questions
For wrestling was necessary
So I could take ownership of the answers she found
All Hope offered
Was the steadfastness of friendship

In her years of wrestling,
I had to peel away the layers of idealism
She learnt she had to start seeing the world for what it was
Instead of what ideals she wanted it to be
I started putting distance between herself and Hope
For Hope's answers seemed too easy

The years flew by
And the distance remained between the friends
Hope often cried herself to sleep wishing things were different
I had to walk her journey alone
But Hope also resolved to keep pace from the distance

Hope had an older sister
Her name was Love
Love's wisdom was encouragement to Hope
So that her strength and friendship could endure
While I had her heart broken over and over again

The day came when I hit rock bottom
Hope found her in the corner of that dark room
I had been around Depravity too much
The scars from her own battles were many
But even more
Were the pieces of her heart
Shattered from the stories of brokenness she encountered
To live without hurting would be an unnatural existence

I grew afraid of being alone
For in those dark corners of loneliness
The pain and the scars tormented her
In that time,
Hope and Love found her

That night,
Hope held the candle as Love rocked her to sleep

But I was ashamed of the distance she had put between them
For a long time she pushed their friendship away
For a long time she was convinced
The only way she could have Hope and Love back
Was to completely walk away from Depravity

But Hope and Love pursued her
Hope showed her she never left
Even in her years of friendship with Depravity
Hope simply made space
For Depravity to teach her to be real

Enough time has passed now.

I sat in the middle of a conversation last night frustrated that all I could offer was another story of depravity. I found myself second-guessing the things I had said, angry that I didn't have more humour to offer.

But the truth is
Between the emotional scars that I am slowly finding healing from and the stories from the streets of Atlanta and Berlin
Between the wounds of close friends that I carry (because Hope, in her twisted sense of humour, gave me way too big a dose of empathy) and the faces of children in the reservations of South Dakota
I have seen too much Depravity that to live without hurting would be unnatural

I have also known Hope for too long to live in despair
But for me to try to write Hope, Love or Depravity out of my life would be compromising my story.

So all I can do now is to go out
And see anyway
Hurt anyway
Love anyway

Live anyway.

Something Unpredictable...

Alright, tonight's theme is unpredictability I guess. Or the little things that you find yourself stumbling into. Or maybe I just have the Green Day song stuck in my head...




It's Allergy Season...
There are some things that you learn when crossing culture that you never really expect to. Like when I first moved to the US, I had to learn what "hard water" was. In Singapore, all water that flowed through the faucets tasted the same because they came from the same source: the water treatment plant.

Or like allergies. I never knew that when the seasons change, depending on how your respiratory system is built, you could get really sick or irritated by the pollination. In Singapore, we basically only have two season: hot and wet, and hotter and wetter. Pollination? Who's ever heard of that?

This week, my allergies have been hateful. It might been that I've been outside for too long, but my nose definitely has not been happy. Nor have my eyes for that matter. Last night, I slept for about twelve hours straight. "Spring" has come really late in Berlin this year, according to Rhonda. And I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

Office Work...
In other news, this week has involved a lot of office work and brain juice. Not that being with people doesn't require brain juice, but office work has been intensive. And once again, too much coffee has been consumed (hence tonight's late night activity). We've had a few things to work aound here. Evaluated the two-and-a-half weeks of the Urban Ministry class. Officially got my intern contract with the team here somewhat complete today. And... The website for the team.

If your organization or team has a website that is user-friendly, succinctly describes who you are and what you do, loads quickly and efficiently, will you PLEASE send us the contact information for whoever your creative team is? As Aaron would say, "Good goo!" This website business is a pain in the you-know-where.

I haven't quite decided yet if it's a blessing or a curse to be working with two people who function very differently from me. I guess seeing as this is the first time I have to work this closely in a team like that, it's always an interesting process. It's great that Kelley has the big picture and a far better understanding of what language to use to communicate with our audience (and I'm not just talking about English oder Deutsch here, although those can produce interesting problems we have to work through). And Aaron has the business plan arena down. Then there's me and my artsy-fartsy-ness. Together we should technically make a great team, but we need to speak the same language first, and also understand how each of the others work best.

It's an interesting process - really frustrating at times, but so much to learn and so much room for me to grow.

Hey, once the website is up and running, we'll let you know.

Praises...
Everytime I think about this opportunity I've had to work with this team, I count it as a blessing about five or six times over. Could there be a better match for me to do my internship? I don't know, but the Planner of these things will have to get REALLY creative.

AND the weather here has been amazing the last few days. No, really. Sunshine and 70s-80s deg F or about 20s deg C. Yes, please.

And (I already mentioned this in a previous entry, but still...) Yay for new friends and good food! Sushi, and people who speak all these different languages but yet still trying to find some way to communicate with one another? Yes, please.

So much to be thankful for. If you want all the specifics, you'll have to buy me dinner or coffee when I get back :)

Prayer Requests...
One of our team members, Mely, hurt her back on Saturday when we were out on our excursion. Doctor's put her on 3 weeks bed-rest so she can't even lift Emilia (her one-year-old) now. Adrian has dropped Emilia off here the last two days so Rhonda and I could watch her, but Mely's mum came in tonight to help out for a bit.

And also, just got news that the wife of the national leader of the Church of God in one of the Asian countries is not doing so well because her cancer has returned. Between the missionaries and the national leaders, the region has been stricken with cancer four times over - one of whom we lost in January. Also, their son and daughter-in-law will be arriving in Anderson in a couple weeks to start their Masters programs this fall. I hate not being there to give them a proper welcome, but pray for their period of adjustment.

And finally, little Kaleigh Lee will be coming into the world anytime now! My cousin's having her first baby - also first baby from our generation!


I guess that's all, kids. Hey, 39.5 hours till the first World Cup game where Mexico plays South Africa. Which teams are YOU cheering for, and which teams deserve to be trash-talked to/about?

Love you all.