Neustart: We Are All The Same

Today we're kicking back a bit. At least, MaryAnn, Amity and I are. And I've just spent the last hour indulging in one of my guilty pleasures... Bejeweled!

The rest of the group is out working this morning. Two of the girls, together with Amy who's here with us for a few days to help translate, are back out at the cafe. The guys are at another ministry site. But yesterday being as long a day as it was, we were given the option to stay in this morning. I figured since we're watching Schindler's List tonight and going to Sachsenhausen, one of the concentration camps tomorrow, I need at least part of today to just veg a bit. And besides, I need to write.

Neustart

I don't know the exact translation, but if I could guess what it means based on the limited German vocab that I have, Neustart probably means new beginning. This is a cafe for prostitutes (I love how "in your face" the German culture is. No sugar-coating or anything like that. Straight to the point, this IS a cafe for prostitutes.) Yes, we did come all the way to Berlin just to drink coffee with prostitutes. No, we - or at least I - don't have an agenda. Oh, but if you could only hear the stories these women have...

One thing I learnt yesterday: you can never assume the stories of any of these women. Some of these women are the nicest, most compassionate and beautiful women I've seen. One of the ladies working with us told us that their stories vary widely. Some of these women were trafficked in as sex slaves from the Eastern European countries. Others had to deal with difficult family situations. Some did it to pay for college and decided to stay in that line of work because it paid more than other jobs would. Still others were German housewives whose husbands and families decided they needed extra income to help pay for the pool.

Yes, the stories of the women who were trafficked in as sex slaves break my heart, especially when you really look at how beautiful these women were. But when I think of some of the other circumstances in which these women come from, I can't help but wonder, what in Pete's name is the world coming to? How or why would husbands or boyfriends allow or even encourage these women to do this? And what does that do to their intimacy?

As we were hanging out there, we learnt there were rules.

1) We don't beat them down with the Bible. There's already another group doing that, from which the group at Neustart split from because of that reason. This group tell them they are living in sin, make them feel dirty and says things like they're breaking up families. I'm sorry, but did we forget that these men are the ones who come looking? If there weren't men looking to begin with, maybe the trade wouldn't even exist. It kinda takes two hands to clap, doesn't it? So we don't preach. We don't evangelise. We are just there if they want to talk about their kids, or like Jenny who showed us pictures of the kitty litter she found and decided to adopt.

2) When we're out on the streets handing out coffee, we don't approach any and every woman. Some of these women work for pimps and if their pimps catch them spending too much time chatting and not working, they could get into trouble. Suzanne, one of the ladies who volunteers at the cafe, told us a story of how a girl once approached one of her colleagues for coffee and asked if she could pray for her. Suzanne's colleague agreed, and laid hands on her and prayed. The next day, this girl was no longer on the street. Suzanne's colleague asked the next girl down where she was. The girl told her she couldn't talk, and to leave her alone or they could get her into trouble like they did to her friend. Apparently the episode from the day before had upset the pimp and the girl was beaten up and couldn't work for a month.

3) If the woman is being approached by the client while we're talking to her, we immediately say goodbye and leave. They are at work and we cannot - and should not - interfere with their business. One of the girls told us that her brother had passed away a few days ago, and her sister two weeks before. She desperately needed money to go to, and to pay for the funeral so she was under immense pressure to work even though she really couldn't make herself do it. With stories like that, and realising that they really have no other option, I had to come to the realisation that there's really no way I can make myself tell them to not work, even if what they are doing is counter to everything I believe about sex.

4) If we see someone we know on the street going off to work, we don't acknowledge them. We only see them for who they are, and not objects of their line of work.

When Rachel and I did our first outreach (as Suzanne calls it - we basically walk the streets where the girls work and approach them with coffee, tea or chocolate and tell them that there's a cafe around the corner if they want to hang out, seek help - there's a social worker there just in case, or just to stay warm) yesterday morning, we saw a really beautiful young girl being approached. The guy appeared to be giving her directions and soon he starts walking off with her following just a few steps behind. In all my years at TK going to school fairly close to a redlight district and the occasional run-ins with other women in the same line, this was the first time I actually witnessed this happening.

But it also made me wonder about the guy. What drove him to that place? What was his first time like? Did someone teach him how to approach a prostitute? And what about the language barrier? How did they negotiate when one spoke Bulgarian and the other, German? Were there standard protocol for the trade?

It is a fascinating side of society that people don't like talking about. But it's real. And when you put names and faces to something that society simply labels "PROBLEM" or "VICE" and walk away, you can't help but realise how human it really is. When you hear the stories of Jenny, or Chan, or Antonea, you can't just say, "ugly, ugly, ugly" and walk away. (Left: Amity with Amy Froese - Dr. Walter Froese's great-niece - trying to explain where Michigan is relative to the rest of the US. Amity did portraits of the women last night.)

And the bottom line is this: with as many varied backgrounds and stories as these women come from, it really could have been me, or any of the other ladies I've spent time with on this trip - or even people I'm in classes with. Or anyone at all. They're not just "PROBLEM." Or "VICE." Or "ugly."

Maybe we are the ones who are really ugly who don't know how to deal with the broken pieces of life. Maybe we are the Problems who can't even deal with ourselves enough to have compassion on others and just want to beat on their heads with judgment and our supposed "sacred words."

Oh God, with as much as we've talked about mercy, grace and freedom this past week, fill us up and send us out to live out what that really means.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause.

On Grace...

Yesterday, we attended the morning service at the American Church Berlin. This is the same place where half of our group served on Friday at the food distribution ministry they have there.

I don't know if I had mentioned this in my earlier post, but one of the reasons why I want to go back there on a fairly regular basis on Fridays is because of the people they reach out to. One of the things that the pastor said in his sermon yesterday that really impressed me was that they had a huge building project underway to start some of the restoration work in the building that they were using. But the building was not the priority. The ministries and the people came first.

How often have we theologized about that in the US, and how often have we actually lived that out? And perhaps I shouldn't be allowed to speak of the US as an insider, but in this case, I'm claiming my own fault in doing more speaking than acting.

And the people, the church. It was almost a strange phenomenon walking into service and not being able to tell right away what ethnic group each person is from. But shouldn't that be what the church is about? Even growing up in Singapore, most of the people I go to church with are Chinese. And when there is an occasional "outsider" of a different ethnic group, we know them right away. I wonder if they've felt welcome. I wonder if they've felt enough love from the community to convince them to stay. I wonder...

On a related note, MaryAnn asked us yesterday to make a list of 5-7 things that really stuck out to us on this trip. So here's mine:
1) Hospitality - Doors that are open to people from all walks of life, from student groups to "lost boys"
2) History - So much of the way things are today is wrapped in the doings of yesterday. Until we even begin to try and understand the things of yesterday, it will be hard to try to figure out how to live cross-culturally here today.
3) Stories - We all have stories; something to share that unites us. When we're able to share those things together in sacred space, that's when we find true community between both followers of Christ and those who have not known.
4) Diversity - No place or person have the exact same story. And no single method of getting to know, or working alongside any place, person, or thing will work as effectively as it will with the next.
5) Mercy and Liberation - They can only be found in Christ. And the only way to fully experience what we've found in Christ is to let it permeate us till it overflows to the next person in Judea, Samaria and the ends of the earth.

That's all for now, I think. My brain is still barely awake, but breakfast is in about 40 minutes. I'm hungry.

Love you all.

Today We Stood on Holy Ground...

Lutherstadt

Wittenberg

What more can I say? (Above: Luther's house)

Today we stood on holy ground. It was like stepping into a sacred part of history that changed so much of church history.

I was telling Amity that I feel like all this week we've been jumping back and forth between present time and history. We've seen some of the history of Berlin and also some of the ministry sites where we will be at. But that is so much of what Berlin is about. A city with so much history and yet at the same time so vibrant with present day coming and going. (Left: Inside the church where Luther nailed his 95 thesis)

But Lutherstadt.

How does one describe what it's like to step into a place that is about 500 years old, talked about so much in history textbooks and even written a few papers about and not feel like your world has been shaken? And I'm not even sure if I can find the right words to describe the whole experience today.

Somewhere in my last theology paper, I made a comparison between the rise and fall of Lutheran theology and Communism. Both started well-intentioned until someone in their brokenness decided to take that too far and mess a well-intentioned ideology up. All throughout history, even during the Old Testament times, we find people mixing the wrestle between faith and religiosity with politics. And we find this even in the US today. Somehow, in the wrestle between faith and religiosity, the brokenness of man creeps in and suddenly it becomes a power struggle and about selfish ambition and personal agenda rather than about the common good anymore. (Right: Inside Luther's church)

Stepping into Wittenberg today was a reminder again of that. In spite of all the twists and turns that Lutheran theology has taken, I couldn't help but wonder, how does one meet God like Luther did and not find their liberation that has been transformed into joy spilling over and wanting that to reach the ends of the earth?

Even stranger was the fact that Luther found freedom even during his time. Even though the freedom he found during his time isn't exactly the same kind of freedom we've been talking about this week, it's still strangely comforting to know that a theme like that transcended time, context and culture. On the left is a picture of Kelley lighting a candle at the vigil for peace held in the church where Luther nailed his thesis. Is it just me or does there appear to be a recurring theme of candle lighting and freedom?

Those are just a few thoughts from today. Hey, in case you were thinking all that we're doing is study, process, and theologize, here are a few pictures just so you know there's plenty of ridiculousness going around as well.

Aaron, Kelley and the Happy Cherries of their eyes.

And of course, the AU raven (it's not a crow, Kelley) makes its way around.

Luther and all that Jazz...

I figured I should at least write something here today since all my pictures from today got deleted. Granted I didn't take very many today, but I need to at least remember some pieces of what we did today.

I'm starting to be unsure about whether I like the big spread at breakfast every morning. Not because it's bad, but because it's so good that it starts my metabolism going and then I get hungry. Like I am right now. Oh well. If you know anything about my eating habits, you'll probably know that this is a good thing.

So after breakfast this morning, we hit the streets again. And again, things went by in a fuzz today so I'll just write what I can remember. We went to a street market-ish thing that's just in front of the building where JFK did his "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech. Lunch was at this restaurant called Jamarican which is a cross between Jamaican and American food. And of course, goat curry is amazing. I was telling some of the group that usually when I leave somewhere, I try to think of the foods that I will miss and eat them before I leave. But I knew coming to Berlin, I wouldn't have to worry about that. It will probably be leaving Berlin that I'll have to think about that again.

After lunch, we raced to the American Church Berlin where we helped in a food distribution project. I don't think I was prepared for the fact that the food we were going to be distributing was fresh produce rather than canned goods. And also, I was forced to practise my limited German, which was probably a good thing.

Rhonda told me that as we hit the different ministry sites over the next couple weeks while the rest of the group is here, if I find myself wanting to go back to one of the sites, to try and get connected with the people in charge while I'm there. The ACB is probably one of the places I would like to frequent, just because of the diversity of the people who come to that - not just ethnic diversity, but religious affiliations as well. And with all my fascination with people in transition, somehow that seems to make sense.

Again, so much to process but no time for it. Just quick ramblings and now it's time for bed again.

OH! We also saw the Luther film tonight in anticipation for Wittenberg tomorrow. I really don't have much of a theologically nerdy side, but what percentage of that that I have is getting really excited.

I'll try to write again tomorrow. And let's be praying my photos don't magically disappear into a Facebook unfriendly format so I can't post them.

Love you all.

Day of Ascension...

I don't think I really knew what I was getting into today when they told us today was the Day of Ascension and our original plans had been changed. But of all our time spent here, today was probably the most meaningful.

We started off the day with breakfast at the Philips'. Rhonda made another amazing spread. After breakfast, we sat and chatted for a while, talking about just about everything. These days seem to run together, so I honestly don't remember what we talked about today specifically. But it was a really nice change to just sit and chat with people, with no real agenda besides just talking. (Left: Pelmenis, a Russian dish. Rhonda is an AMAZING cook.)

At around 12:30, we headed out somewhere, and I'm not sure any of us besides our hosts, and maybe MaryAnn knew where we were going. We ended up taking a walk around town and had lunch at an authentic Italian pizza place, and I discovered how much I love thin-crust pizza :)

I don't remember the exact time-line of when all these things happened, but some time today, we also saw the areas where the Turkish population had settled. Kelley had explained that the Turkish came to help with the rebuilding after the war.

We also went down the street where the coffeeshop the girls will be working at is. A lot of what we had talked about this morning surrounded the theme of freedom, which, according to Rhonda, was what had been impressed on the heart of the lady who worked at the coffeeshop. And as we walked down that street, there was a silence that was almost uncomfortable. As Aaron said, it was almost paradoxical for us as a group to be walking freely down the street, yet only a car away from us were all these girls bound to selling themselves to make a living. And with all my recent thoughts on mercy that is like rain falling on a parched land, it was almost odd (if we took the dude up there out of the picture) that I felt that few drops of rain on my hand. Mercy. Mercy that redeems and liberates. It was present right there on the streets in Berlin too.

Wilhelm Cathedral

Our next stop was the Wilhelm cathedral. A building torn by war, its basic structure was restored, but it is now a tourist site more than anything else. Right next to it is a structure that now serves as the cathedral. If you remember my Holy Week series from last year, all the pieces of stained glass work suddenly made sense today. Quite frankly, I'm not really sure why I included the stained glass stuff in my writing, but today as I looked at how the pieces of stained glass came together, it suddenly hit me.

We have so much in all of our stories. So much brokenness, so much that doesn't make sense. But if we only stare at the single piece of stained glass in front of us, it wouldn't. All these pieces of our brokenness make sense only when we step back and look at the bigger picture of redemption. It was the same for Nicodemus, Mary Magdalene, John and Mary the mother of Jesus.

And there was a corner of the room where you could go light a candle in remembrance of war victims. To me, that was a symbol of more than just remembering. It reminded me of the 9/11 memorial in NYC that we went to over Spring Break, and how this brokenness is universal. There are people hurting everywhere. And there are people everywhere lighting candles and holding on to hope on behalf of those who are hurting. And that's what we are called to be - those little beacons of light, life and hope to the world of darkness.

As we headed out of the cathedral, there was a group gathering, holding banners that made some reference to Sri Lanka. Aaron, Dan and I wandered over to see what was going on and found out that it was kind of a memorial thing they were doing for victims of the terrorism in Sri Lanka. And right in the background was this massive cathedral that now stands empty. It was a moment like the scene in Elizabethtown where Drew finds himself right next door to that couple that's getting married that weekend that he's burying his father. "Death, life... Death and life, right next door to each other??"

And the cathedral in the background. It was kind of like a message of, well... now what? What is the church doing?

So many more thoughts from today to wrestle with. I apologise that this post was more of a thought spillage than the more poetic prose I try to compose. But we've had a long day and it's late.

Hey, feel free to post your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. Miss you all in all the other parts of my world that I'm not physically living in right now.

Brandenburg and All its Glory...

Got about 20 minutes before I have to be down at the Philips' to help with breakfast so I'll write as much as I can in this time.

Yesterday we took a walking tour of the city and saw most of the historical sites - both the ancient and modern history. Berlin is a beautiful city, and so rich with history. For those of you who have not known the history buff side of me, well, here we go.

In a span of about 4 hours, we saw parts of the Berlin Wall, Checkpoint Charlie, a Holocaust memorial, a few cathedrals and so much else. When we finally sat down to debrief yesterday, I didn't even know where or how to start talking because my mind was filled with so much. With all its glorious history, Berlin still remains a place of constant change. Torn by so many wars and invaded with so many political and perhaps even religious ideology, it feels like a city that still extends its arms wide open, ready to embrace whatever more change there is that might come its way.

For the next couple weeks while the rest of the AU group is here, the girls will be staying in Aaron's apartment while he and the other guys are at the Philips'. After the group leaves, I'll be with the Philips till I leave on July 28.

Today we remember the day of Ascension. I'm not really sure what this all entails or if we're doing anything to really remember it, but most places are closed today. But it'll be interesting nonetheless.

Alright, gotta run to go help with breakfast. Love you all.

We're Here!

So we have arrived!

Time here is 9:57 pm on Tuesday, May 11. And after a day of flying and not sleeping too well, I'm going to make this a short one and go to bed soon-ish.

After a few flight delays, we finally go to Berlin around 2:45-ish where Kelley and Aaron met us and loaded up our stuff in the car. Aaron then took us by the subway to the place where we were staying. After unloading, we went over to the Philips' for a late lunch where we met the Rammings who are part of the Berlin team, then took a walk around town to help us stay awake and get over the jetlag. So now we're all tired and ready to go to bed.

Pictures

Tomorrow, we're taking the Brandenburg tour. Pictures to come.

Night world.

Today I was in the Company of Saints...

Today I was in the company of Saints.
They sat and had coffee with me,
Shared with me about their lives
And listened to my stories.

Today I was in the company of Saints.
They laughed with me
As we tossed a frisbee around
And idled the hours of a summer afternoon away.

Today I was in the company of Saints.
They reminded me of who I was
When we first started this journey together

Today I was in the company of Saints.
They spoke to my soul and
Reminded me that leaving is never easy
And allowed me to cry.

Today I was in the company of Saints.
They held my hand when I lost a friend
And today they hold my hand again
As a new chapter unfolds

Today I was in the company of Saints
Who painted my face
Colours I would never have imagined possible
And laughed. And loved.

Today I was in the company of Saints
Who knew they would never completely understand
The quirks of my generation
But they still try anyway.

Today I was in the company of Saints
Saints whose giant footprints
Can only leave me trailing in the dust
Who would still hold me hand
And help me along with my baby-steps
Whose tears of joy celebrate each step I take
Who would take time to share a meal with me
And pray and anoint me with oil

Today I was in the company of Saints
I don't know who I am to have been in their company
But for each one of these gentle giants,
I'm thankful.

Hey, if you missed out on Akan Datang...

Here's a sneak peak... More videos to come!

The Ants Go Marching

'Twas the Week Before Berlin...

This week marks the end of my second year of seminary. Wow, really? How could I have survived two years of madness?

This has been a week of closure.
... Two finals and an exegesis paper ended off the academic year.
... A frisbee golf game and coffee sent off a few new friends to their summer vacation.
... Thai Smile dinner date with two dear friends I started seminary with to celebrate one of us graduating.
... Played a gig for a friend's youth group to return the favour for their involvement in "Akan Datang," and to round up having survived another crazy year of seminary together.
... One final breakfast + lunch date + SnoCastle season opening + dinner date with soul friends before the summer hits and some move away.
... Farewell send-off at work.
... "The usual" + a wedding shower for an old but dear friend.
... Sleeping over with two of the girls who have blessed my life this semester.
... One last soccer game with the kids from church who, together with their parents, have blessed my heart with laughter.
... AU's Graduation and all the graduation receptions and open houses to go to.
... Send-off at church

And then we're off to Berlin.

I'll be honest. The depth of some of these relationships have truly left me bewildered. How did we in such a short time find our hearts knitted so closely together that when the time comes for our paths to head off in different directions, a piece of my heart walks away with you?

I have no answer. But I can only pray that my relationships in Berlin will find that same kind of root and that I'll continue to leave pieces of my heart with the people who bless my life even if it means my heart needs to be broken for that to happen.

'Twas the week before Berlin...

My hands are small, I know,
But they're not yours,
They are my own
And I am never broken